Morning Conversations
by Feudor
Summary: Just some talk.
1. Chapter 1

The kitchen door was not locked and proved no obstacle to the sudden entry of an excited four-year-old girl.

"Hi, Aunt Shelley," the red-headed girl hollered in a decidedly outdoor voice. "What'cha doing?"

The woman at the breakfast nook displayed no surprise. Unannounced neighbourly visits were, after all, not all that infrequent.

"Hi there, kiddo," she said, putting her first morning cup of coffee down on the table before her. "You are up bright and early!"

"I'm always bright and early, Grandpa says. Unless it's late and he wants me to go to bed."

The girl clambered up and sat at the table opposite the pale and beautiful woman with the long luxurious hair.

"Yeah, lets aggree on 'always bright', whatever the time might be, shall we? But speaking of your grandparents, do they know you're here?"

"I'm not sure, actchally."

"Not sure? Didn't you tell them?"

"Nah, I didna wanna wake them. They were up late in their room, giggling and stuff."

"Giggling, eh?

"Yeah, but I left them a note! Grandma will see it first thing, 'cause I put it in the coffee machine!"

Shelley McGoohan and Anne Possible shared the view that the day could not properly start without a large cup of strong, black coffee.

"Smart! And good job! I didn't know you could write so well, yet?"

"Nah, I made a drawing. Look, here it is!"

The girl thrust a wrinkled paper at her elegant neighbour. It showed a crayon rendition of two houses, one with two sleeping figures in a bed, the other with a green woman with long raven hair standing in a kitchen. Between the houses was a white fence with a little girl jumping over it.

"Oh, I see," said Aunt Shel'. "But, if you have the note here, how will Grandma Anne get it?"

The girl made sounds and faces common to all children exasperated with the stupidity of grown-ups.

"I'll give it to her what I get home. I just wanted to show it to you first!"

Shelley McGoohan allowed herself a moment to process that snippet of information before responding.

"Well, as a back-up, I think perhaps I should text your Grandma and tell her you are here, don't you think?"

The girl shrugged, taking no note of any urgency in communicating her whereabouts.

"Then you could perhaps also tell her the house isn't on fire?" she said.

A moment's pause for thinking, but no plausible explanations came to mind.

"Why would the house be on fire?" Shelley finally had to ask.

"Well, it isn't. But there's a bit of smoke. On account of the toaster."

"You tried to make breakfast again, didn't you?"

"Well, I wanted toast an' marmelade, but the toaster didn't work as it was suppose' to…"

Shelley gathered her patience.

"Even your mother usually manages to make toast. What did you do?"

"I just put butter on the toast and put the toast in the machine. Then I scooped the marmalade in after, an' there was a huge puff of smoke!"

"And then?"

"Then I took the thing out into the yard and threw it in the swimming pool. So it wouldn't catch fire, right?"

"Please tell me you disconnected the plug before you tossed the toaster into the water!"

"'Course I did! The cord wouldn't reach that far, anyway!"

Sometimes, even after a good night's sleep, you are entitled to feel a bit tired in the morning. Shelley rested her forehead in her hand and explained some basic stafety issues with inhuman patience.

"Stacey, it is very, very dangerous to drop electrical things into the water. You could get electrocuted! And, before you ask, there is nothing 'cute' about geting electrocuted; it's more like being hit by lightning. You could die!"

Stacey Anne Possible put her index finger on her chin, looking thoughtful.

"So that's why Grandpa didn't want any help shaving when he was in his bath," she said pensively.

Aunt Shelley busied herself sending a text message to Anne Possible, endeavoring to be as comforting as possible, and trying not to think of Stacey shaving Mr. Dr. Possible in his bath. He should know better than to leave the door unlocked, anyway.

"So, now, what did you want, Stacey?" Shelley asked after having clicked on 'send'. "You hungry?"

"Nah, I wanna play with Kelley. She 'wake yet?"

"Oh, sweetie! Kelley isn't home! She's still on the island with her Daddy".

Stacey mumbled something she wasn't allowed to say, and Aunt Shelley managed not to hear her say it.

"It's not fair! Why does she have to go to that island all the time? She doesn't even like him, and she appsoluttly hates Aunt Bonnie!"

"I know, Princess, but Junior is, after all, her father and it's quite normal that they get to meet now and then. And it is just once a month."

"It's much too often! I wanna play with Kelley now!"

"She'll be back tomorrow afternoon. You'll just have to be patient a bit longer. Now, in the meantime, are you hungry? Since your toast caught fire? Want some breakfast?"

"Yes, please, Aunt Shel'!"

"Full English? Scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages, baked beans, mushrooms, grilled tomatoes?"

The little girl's eyes shone with delight.

"Yes, please!"

"So grab some milk and juice from the fridge. You can start off with some cereal while I get cooking!"

Shelley McGoohan had built a rather small house on the vacant lot next to the Doctors Possible, but the one thing she didn't spare any expenses on was the kitchen. She liked to cook and was good at it, so the kitchen sported every modern appliance know to man as well as lots of space for preparation and storage. And it gave her the chance to give Kimmie and her daughter a proper meal from time to time. One that wasn't brain loaf, no offence to Mrs. Dr. P.

Stacey sat down at the breakfast table with a glass of orange juice and a carton of milk, and Aunt Shelley put a bowl of müsli with nuts, raisins and dried apples in front of her.

"Remember, no frosties or chocopops in my house. Just good, wholesome food!"

The girl made a disappointed face but was in all honesty rather satisfied with the nuts and raisins. She knew better than to argue, anyway.

"Hey, Aunt Shel?" she asked while the elegant mistress of the kitchen put an apron on over her dressing gown. "Do I have a father?"

Shelley threw her breakfast guest a thoughtful glance at the rather unexpected change of topic.

"Sure. In the biological sense, everybody has a mother and a father."

"So, who is it? Where is he? Nobody never talks 'bout him!"

"Ah, well. You'll have to ask your mother that. I have promised her not to say anything about it."

Stacy idly picked at her cereals with her spoon. "He's dead, ain't he? That's why Mummy doesn't want to talk about him?"

This was turning out to be a conversation full of surprises. Shelley stirred the scrambled eggs in the pan and tried to not let her shock show.

"Now, Princess, I did promise not to talk about your father, but I can asure you that he isn't dead. He's just gone far away for a some time."

The girl brightened with comprehension.

"Oh, I get it! He's in prison, right?"

"In prison?"

"Yeah! Bobby Butler's dad stopped coming to pick him up at school last month, and Miss Tara said he had gone far away for some time. But Jennie Dobson tolded everyone that he was really in prison, for beating on Mrs. Butler all the time!"

"Oh, dear! Well, if he did that, I'm glad he is in prison. But, without saying anything more, I can promise you that your father is neither dead nor in jail. Happy?"

Shelley put the eggs on a plate and flipped the bacon and sausages on the big electric griddle while Stacey pondered the information, still not entirely satisfied.

"It's not that Mummy isn't nice an' all," she said after a while, "it would just be good to have both a mother and a father. Like everbody else. So the kids don't tease us all the time."

"Well, you'll have to take that up with Kimmie. Get her to marry someone nice and get you a dad."

This was evidently just what Stacey needed, a course of action.

"Yeah, cool! I could pick some really good dad!"

Shelley felt she had to put some brakes on much too precipitous plans. "You do get that you have to let your mother have a say in that, though?" she said. "And you can't choose someone who already has a girlfriend, so you can't pick Uncle Wade. And not Uncle Josh or Uncle Felix, either. Not even Uncle Ed!"

"Aw! Then there's nobody left but Uncle Drew! And I'm not sure he would make a good daddy!"

"I'd certainly agree with you on that," Shelley said, placing a plate with an enormous helping of food in front of the girl. "It could be someone you haven't met yet, though."

"But I want it to be someone I already know! Not some stranger!"

Shelley shrugged.

"I know", the girl suddenly yelled. "She could marry you, Aunt Shel!"

"Me?"

"Yeah! Some mummies do marry other mummies! Like Miss Tara and Miss Leslie!"

Shelley sighed and sat down at the table.

"Again, kid, you can't just pick and chose. You have to let your mum find someone she really, really likes."

"But it would be perfect! You already live right next door. And you and Mum always get along. And Kelley and me would be sisters!"

"Kelley and I", Shelley corrected. "And yeah, we are good friends, but I'm not sure if that's enough."

"But you _would_ marry her, wouldn't you? Why don't you ask? It would be appsoluttly spanking!"

The house was very quite. The fridge compressor gave a discreet hum and the early birds outside the kitchen window dominated the conversation with gossip about worms, bugs and the horrible cat across the street.

Shelley looked seriously at the excited four-year-old with the large emerald eyes.

"Kid," she finally said, "I did ask her. Three years ago."

"And?"

"And she said she needed time. She had to think about it, she said."

"Oh. That's not good, is it?"

"No, Kiddo, it isn't."

"But can't you ask her again?"

"Nope. The ball is in her court now. I will not come begging."

Stacey made a grimace, looking both cute and fierce.

"But I can ask her, right? Like, remind her?"

"Not a good idea. Look, I do understand her. It's complicated and she is still upset about some shit that happened. So if she wants time to think, we give her time."

If the conversation hadn't been so serious, the girl would have jumped on Aunt Shelley's use of the sh*t word, but now she just looked worried.

"Look, I mean it!" Aunt Shelley said. "Don't bring this up and start nagging Kimmie about it!"

The beginnings of a familiar pout began to develope on the young girl's face, but a discreet ping on the house-owner's cell phone distracted them both.

"It's Grandma Anne," Shelley said. "She wants you to come home right away. You are all supposed to go pick up your granduncle Slim at the airport this morning."

"Aw. I forgotted! Bye, Aunt Shel! See ya'!"

And the breakfast guest was out of the house as quickly and suddenly as she had burst in.

Shelley picked up the almost empty plate. Only the mushrooms predictably remained. She scraped them off into the waste bin and put the plate and the cutlery in the dishwasher.

A slight noise could be heard from the stairs.

Shelley sighed. "So, you heard all that, did you? Come on down. There's coffee."

Kimberley Anne Possible came into the kitchen with her eyes downcast and a sombre look on her face. Shelley put a big mug of coffee on the table and sat down again.

"Look, I didn't tell her much," Shelley said, "but you have to have a talk with her soon. She has questions and she needs some answers. Otherwise she'll only imagine much worse stuff than what really happened."

Kim said nothing.

"Look, it's not that much worse than me and Kelley. An ill-judged affair with Junior and the obvious realisation that we're about as compatible as cats and dogs. So, quick separation and he goes off and marries Bonnie Bitchwaller. And Kelley knows it all, and is mostly fine with it. So, what are you afraid of?"

Kim Possible lifted her eyes and smiled wistfully.

"I'm sure Junior is the dog in the mix – I have always seen you as a bit catty!"

"Ha ha! But, seriously …"

"Yeah, I know. And it's not so much Stacey I'm worried about. It's Ron. And Yori … and – me."

"Look! Nobody can blame you for that night together just before he went to Japan for his studies. You had been his girlfriend for almost a year, for crying out loud! And agreeing to an open relationship because you didn't want him to be bound by an inter-continental relationship, that's nothing strange. The big mistake was not telling him immediately you found yourself pregnant, but what's done is done. You couldn't guess he would fall in love with Yori so quickly, even if anybody could have told you she was interested."

"Yeah, I know all that. I was just so stupid!"

"And then, deciding not to tell him at all to spare him all feelings of guilt over his surprise kid … I don't think that was the right thing to do, but I can understand your thinking. But you can't let past actions stop you from doing the best in the present! You must make all decisions in the now, accepting all the facts and all the things that have already happened. You have to pull yourself together!"

Kim dropped her head into her crossed arms on the table and mumbled something uninteligible. After a while, Shelley understood that she was crying.

"Oh, come now, Kimmie! It's not as bad as all that, is it? Stacey will surely understand?"

Kim just cried more.

"Kimmie? Princess? Cupcake? Love?"

The former teen-aged hero looked up from her arms, seeming uncharacteristically broken and helpless.

"It's not that," she said eventually. "That's not the real problem any more!"

"It isn't? Then why are you crying?"

"It's you!"

"Me?" Shelley was genuinely taken aback.

"Yeah, you. I've used you! I've taken you for granted. I've treated you like dirt!"

"You have?"

Kim dried her eyes with the right sleeve of her pyjamas and sat up.

"Yeah, I have. I really have. Look, you moving her and us helping each other with our kids has really meant a lot to me. I coundn't have done it without you. Being a parent is difficult, right? And I started being really happy. And then …"

"Yeah? Then?"

"Then you asked me to marry you. And I … I said no!"

Kim dropped her head back onto her arms and resumed crying inconsolably.

"Hey, Kimmie! Don't cry. You didn't say no, precisely. And I haven't gone anywhere. I'm still here, ain't I?"

"But that's just it! I said no to marrying you, but I still used you! You're still here, being everything I could want from a wife! Like now, when I returned early from a mission. I didn't go back to mum's and dad's, I went home to you. And spent the night. And you let me! And I still haven't even told you that I love you!"

The announcement was followed by a fresh bout of crying. Shelley put her hand on the red-head's shoulder and patted her in a vaguely inefficient manner. Degrees in child care, psychology and English literature, and she still didn't know how to make a woman stop crying.

"Hey, Princess! Cheer up!"

"Waaah! I sorta' live with you. We raise kids together! We spend nights together! And I haven't even had the guts to let you be my girlfriend!"

"Is that all? That's easily fixed!"

Shelley McGoohan, a.k.a. Shego, fell to her knees beside the crying woman and got a small black box out of the pocket of her dressing gown.

"Kimberley Anne Possible," she said. "Will you be the mother of my daughter? Can I be the mother of Stacey? Will you marry me?"

Kim fell into the arms of the pale green woman. It was easier than trying to say anything.

"Hey, Kimmie? You can stop crying now! This is where you say 'yes, I do' and we get on with being happy. You are saying yes, aren't you?"

The read-haired young mother nodded her head, but kept on crying.

"Hush, Kimmie, hush! Just sit back and let me give you this!"

Kim raised her head and saw the open jewelry box in Shego's hands.

"What, you have been carrying that around for three years?"

"Yeah, I wanted to be ready. And I thought that if the occasion arose, I would most likely be in my dressing gown. Or out of it."

"It's beautiful!"

"The dressing gown?"

"No, silly! The ring!"

"Yeah. It used to be my great-grandmother's and has been in the family since 1905. If you'd rather want a brand new one, we can fix that on Monday. But for now, let me put this on your finger. It's alright, yes? No more 'I need time'?"

Kim drew in a large breath of air. "Yes. If you still want me, I do say yes."

"Good! I'm happy! I hope you're happy. Stacey will be happy! And Kelley won't have any problems. And, when you tell Ron, I don't think he'll have any objections, either."

"Oh, Shego! It all went so fucking wrong! I should have married Ron, we should have had a big house with a white picket fence, 2,4 children, a dog and a soccer-mom SUV!"

"And now you'll have a wife, two fantastic daughters and any fucking house you want. But no soccer-SUV. There, I draw the line! So, what's the problem? Me? You don't want a catty green ex-criminal?"

Kimmie burst out crying again.

"And I'm still messing it up, ain't I?" she sobbed. "You are definitely not the problem, Shego! You are my knight in shining armour! My catcher in the rye."

"Hm. English lit major. I don't think you really understand the meaning of that book title. But who cares! Let's have some breakfast and start talking. Okey?"

"Okey!"


	2. Chapter 2

Hello again! I wasn't sure that this story would be more than a one-shot, but it turns out there a few more conversations to be had.

In case you're wondering about the lack of action and all the dialogue, it is party because I am trying to describe a situation and something that has happened without just writing it down; but rather by letting it be understood from what the characters say.

If it gets too boring, I might throw in a mission or two!

Anyway, this is what was talked about the next day. Between characters that of course belong to Disney and which I am only borrowing for some innocent, not-commercial FanFiction.

/Feudor

 **Sunday morning**

The door-bell managed to convey exactly how pissed-off the Sunday morning caller was, which was quite a feat given that the bell itself was a basic piece of kit and that the button was just a simple on-off switch.

Because of who Shelley believed the caller might be, however, it seemed very probable that she had a Mental Information Digital Interface in her middle, flip-the-bird, finger, which would explain exactly how irritated the bell sounded and how exasperated it made Shelley feel.

She yanked the door open and confirmed her suspicions.

"Bitch," she said by way of greeting.

"Witch," the caller replied. "I'm bringing your brat back!"

Kelley, a pale four-year-old with raven hair, briefly hugged her mother's legs, dropped her suitcase on the doormat and ran on into the house.

"A bit early, ain't ya?" Shelley asked. "Didn't we say four o'clock?"

The tanned and teal-eyed caller shrugged. "Much too late, in my opinion. We need to talk."

Shelley made an encouraging motion with her right hand. "So, speak!"

"Look," Bonnie Rockwaller García Senior said with her hands on her hips, "Your brat isn't welcome anymore. She doesn't appreciate her visits, and she just behaves like a spoilt little punk.

"That's rich coming from you. Spoilt, indeed. So what, she doesn't do as Aunt Bonnie says? She doesn't listen to your words of wisdom?"

"Oh, she listens, all right, but she still doesn't behave. I tell her to stop slurping her soup from the spoon, and she starts drinking it directly from the bowl. I tell her not to jump on the bed, and she starts jumping on the sofa. I tell her not to tap-dance on the dining table, and she …"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. She's not inclined to unquestioningly obey minor figures of authority."

Bonnies eyes flashed just as dangerously as Shelley's.

"Well, she's definitely outstayed her welcome. She is a distraction. And I need darling Junior to concentrate on being a good father for our own little Minior."

"Oh, I understand. It must take the undivided focus of his entire intellect to remember that you and he have a son together. It does take some suspension of disbelief, after all."

Mrs. Rockwaller García Senior felt certain that she was being insulted in quite a rude fashion, but she was too mentally lazy to figure out precisely how. And how to respond. Instead, she discretely cleared her throat and went ahead.

"Anyway, I've fixed it. Here you have a legal document according to which you, Kelley, and all your existing and future relatives renounce all bonds of kinship with the García Senior family in general, and with Inigo Wenceslao García Senior, a.k.a. Junior, in particular. You will have no visiting rights, no claim in any heritage, and no contacts whatsoever, and the same goes for us in relation to you and yours."

Shelley opened her mouth to say something, but Bonnie spoke on right over her.

"In return, and out of our inherent sense of decency, we will set up a trust fund and place a lump sum relating to a reasonable alimony for the period up until the brat is 20, as well as a contribution to her college costs. Shall we say ten million?"

Shelley smiled. "I get to have you entirely out of our lives, and we get paid for it? Deal! But only if it doesn't pertain to old man Senior. He's actually a decent bloke."

"Ha! I knew you would go for it if I only dangled some cash before your greedy nose!"

"Greedy? I would have agreed if it had been me that had to pay the 10 million, just to get rid of you. You think that I'm strapped for cash, is that it? Oh, my! I may not be a multibillionaire like your old father-in-law, but I'm hardly poor."

"Oh, puh-lease! The income from your little translation business, and your trashy paperbacks!"

" … and my consultancy fees and retainers from various governments around the world, my bonuses for retrieving the lost and sensitive, both persons and equipment, my investments from my earlier salaries, and my designs for security equipment. It does add up, don't ya know? I have my own tropical island, my own airplanes, ships and cars, my own real estate, and my own shares and bonds. Ten million is nice, but it won't really make all that much of a difference!"

Bonnie looked at the green woman with insolent disbelief.

"Well," Shelley continued, "just because money is all your shriveled little soul can understand, not everyone has such a limited view of happiness. I love my daughter and as long as we have each other, I don't give a toss about your guilt money. I'll take it, though, for Kelley's sake. It will make a nice present for her on her graduation day."

"Humph! Well, just sign here, we'll transfer the money, and good riddance!"

Shelley read the contract carefully, making the visitor more and more impatient.

"Sign, already," Bonnie snarled.

"Hush, now. I need to see that all is correct and that you aren't trying to fool me."

"It's all in order. We pay the best solicitors!"

"I'm not so sure. What about the 'sanity clause?'"

"There ain't no sanity clause!" Bonnie shouted in an overload of irritation.

"Well, so there ain't!" Shelley responded with an unexpectedly happy smile. "Okay, then. Here goes!"

She signed the two copies of the agreement with elegant flourishes and gave one back to Bonnie.

"Now, get off my property! You're trespassing in contravention of the just now signed legal documents. Scram!"

Bonnie sneered, but found it prudent to turn around and start walking down the garden path. She did, however, display a rather triumphant twerk of her shapely bottom!

"Faster, Bitch, faster! Or I'll have to use all my new money for your treatment at the burns clinic!"

Kelley reappeared by her mother's side, watching Aunt Bonnie being handed into her limo by the uniformed driver.

"What happened now, Mummy?"

"Oh, Sweetie! I just had an argument with Aunt Bonnie!"

"Huh! You always do."

"Yeah, but this time it's bad." Shelley scooped up her daughter into her arms and looked her in the eyes. "How would you feel if I told you that you didn't get to go visit your Dad on the island anymore?"

"Oh, that. Aunt Bonnie already told me that they didn't want me 'round no more."

"She did, huh? Well, it does mean you'll not meet Junior again, at all, or Bonnie or little Minior. Is that okay?"

"I s'pous. I mean, Dad is fun for a while but he is rather silly, isn't he? Miss Tara says he's about as smart as a hampster!"

"She does?" Shelley vaguely remembered that the pre-k teacher, Miss Tara, used to be another cheerleader friend of Kimmie's and that she had probably also been at Bonnie's and Junior's wedding. Junior's behavior had, on that occasion, not been all that adult. "That's not a very nice thing to say, is it?

"Nah! Poor hampsters!" And both mother and daughter broke out laughing.

"Seriously, Mom, can I have a hampster? I wants a little animal!"

"Hamster", Shelley said with carefully enunciation. "Well, I don't know. You've got to take good care of such a little animal. Feeding, cleaning the cage, making sure it's happy. And, let's face it, they are small prey animals. Always frightened. Not something you can cuddle with."

Kelley made a face, and her mother's heart melted.

"I know, wouldn't you rather have a cat, instead?" she asked, thinking about what Princess had said the day before about cats and dogs.

"Yeah? A cat? One of them spotty ones that look like little leppards?"

"Well, those are kind of rare. I was rather thinking we could go down to the cat shelter and see if we can find someone who wants to come home with us. Waddaya say?"

"Cool! Can Stacey come, too?"

"Well, we'll have to ask Kimmie-mummy first, when they get back from church."

Kelley started squirming in excitement, and Shelley let her down to make a little happy-cat dance.

"Mind you," the responsible adult said, "You still have to take good care of it. Give it food and play with it. Cats need company."

But such responsibilities were easily forgotten in thinking about a cute kitten.

It seemed that all concerns about losing her father had disappeared as well. Shelley had a twinge of bad conscience at the thought that she had just traded her daughter's father for a cat. But, she then decided, everybody probably gained by the exchange.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sunday afternoon**

Shelley McGoohan opened the un-locked kitchen door and stuck her head in.

"Hello, Possible family," she said. "Everything alright?"

"Hi, Shelley," Anne Possible said. "Come on in!"

Kim, Anne and James were sitting around the kitchen table, taking it easy after a lazy lunch of left-overs. They were having coffee. Kim and Anne had tall glasses of latte before them, while James – who didn't like modern things all that much – had a large mug of ordinary, weak instant coffee with lots of milk and sugar.

"Want some coffee, Shel'?" Mrs. Dr. P. asked.

""Yes, please! A double …"

"A double espresso, as usual. Coming up!"

Anne started grinding some coffee into the shot filter while Shelley sat down by Kimmie's side at the table.

The barista style coffee machine was a Christmas present from Shelley from two years back. It was a gleaming British Racing Green with lots of chrome details, all the knobs, handles and levers in shiny piano black.

"So, where are the kids?" Shelley asked while the coffee machine hissed and emitted clouds of steam.

"The tweebs were picked up for some important soccer game. The girls are in the living room, watching a kiddie show about trains with faces."

Shelley looked mildly surprised.

"Yeah, I know," Kim said. "It's rather silly and nothing much happens, but they love it."

Anne put the double espresso on the table before the neighbour, who added a third of a spoonful of sugar and stirred, sighing happily.

There was a pause when they all enjoyed their coffee. The only sound was from the telly in the living room, where the Fat Controller berated Thomas the Tank Engine for some shunting mishap.

The evening before, the Possibles had hosted a family dinner on the occasion of Uncle Slim's visit. Wade and Cousin Joss of course attended, and Shelley and Kelley had also been invited.

It had been a nice dinner, but it hadn't felt like the right occasion to begin discussing wedding plans. Now, however, Kim and Shelly exchanged a glance and the red-head cleared her throat.

"Mum, Dad," she said. "I think it's time we had a talk."

Mr. Dr. P. dropped his mug of coffee on the kitchen floor, where it shattered.

"Talk?" he said, red in the face and flustered. "Birds, bees? … Storks in the cabbage patch?"

All three women groaned. Anne went to the cupboard to retrieve a broom and a mop. She swept the china shards into a small pile, mopped up the puddle of coffee, and handed her husband another mug of coffee.

"James," Anne scolded her husband. "Kimmie is an adult woman. She is a mother. She has a four-year-old daughter. I think we can assume she knows where babies come from."

"Yeah," Kimmie said. "Besides, we already had that conversation, like seven years ago. And it wasn't news to me, then, either."

"It wasn't?", James asked. "I needn't have had that awkward talk at all?"

"Really. All it did was plant some rather awkweird misconceptions in my mind, but I have managed to forget most of them."

"Well, good!" James said, looking infinitely relieved. "So what do want to talk about instead?"

"Dad," Kimmie said, "we are getting married."

James dropped his second cup of coffee on the kitchen tiles, and Anne got up to sweep and mop again. This time, she gave him a small tumbler of Bourbon instead of more coffee. She had sort of a premonition that it would be needed.

"Married?" James asked, clearly surprised. "To whom?"

"James, don't be stupid. They are clearly getting married to each other."

"But … they are both girls!" He drained the tumbler, but managed to miss the table when putting it down again. Glass joined the china on the floor, and Anne supplied a second glass of spirits before undertaking another sweeping and mopping expedition.

"Welcome to the twenty-first century," Shelley said with a bright smile. "Your powers of observation are admirable."

"Shelley, you are not helping. James, are you blind? Haven't you noticed that Shelley and Kimmie are always together, the best of friends. How can you be surprised?"

"But … I thought they were just friends! Talking about girl stuff. Doing laundry, changing nappies, brushing their hair…"

"Earth to Dr. Possible! There's more to life than household chores!"

"Shelley!"

"Well, how would I know that they would develop an … interest ... like that? It's a surprise, is all!" He poured himself a generous measure of amber liquor.

"Dear Dr. P., it wasn't difficult at all. Your daughter is quite charming. We found ourselves together … like that .. before the girls had started on solid foods."

"Shelley!"

James drained his glass and tossed it over his shoulder to shatter against the fridge. He narrowed his eyes and fixed Shelley with a belligerent stare. Shelley leaned her head forward, looking up at the father of the bride through fluttering eye-lashes, an innocent but seductive smile on her lips.

"Shelley, Kimmie," Anne said. "Don't worry. I'll talk to him and he will come to understand. I, for one, am happy for you. I only wonder what took you so long."

"Me, too," Shelley mumbled.

James shuddered and took a swig directly from the bottle. "Now, hold your horses! Wait a goddam' minute, will you. I haven't been presented with a suitor, yet! Nobody has asked me for the hand of my daughter!"

"Dad! You already know Shelley very well. There's no need to formally present her!"

"This must be done properly! I am, after all, the father of my only daughter! So, young woman, what do you have to say for yourself? Can you support my Kimmie-cub in the manner she should be able to expect?"

"Dad! I am an adult woman! I have a full ride scholarship at Upperton U! I don't need to be supported!"

"Uh, buh, buh! You might well get a good degree and a good job after college, but at the moment you don't have any steady income! So, please! Let Shelley tell me how she expects this to work!"

"Well, we will both be mothers of both the girls. We will strive for an equal partnership, giving each of us the chance to pursue our careers. I'll promise to not stay out to late with the backroom boys, playing poker and drinking beer. We will …"

James looked frustrated.

"Or," Shelley said, taking pity on the poor man, "do you actually mean my financial resources? Bonnie doubted them very rudely only this morning. It seems I don't inspire any confidence in my business acumen."

James took another swig from the bottle and, slamming it back down on the table, gestured for Shelley to continue.

The former superhero, former villainess, one-time saviour of the world, and pardoned mother leaned her elbows on the table.

"Okey," she said, "here goes. When I was given my pardon for my former criminal activities, I was forced to return all of what I had stolen. If it was paintings, jewellery and such, I handed over the objects themselves. For the cash and all the stuff that had already been spent or used, I paid a lump sum calculated by US Department of State economists in consultation with representatives of other parties with claims. The rest, I got to keep. That was mostly the accumulated salaries of my employment by Drew, and the investments I had made with that money.

"After my pardon, I set up a small company offering translation services. I do everything from users' manuals for home electronics to poetry and fiction. I can handle German, Spanish and Japanese with my certificates as an official interpreter for these languages. I have also good knowledge of French, Portuguese and Mandarin.

"Also, many government agencies, both US and foreign, have use of my services as a skilled thief and spy. They pay very handsomely for short but dangerous missions. My negotiating position is helped a lot by the fact that they seldom ask me to do anything before everybody else has told them it can't be done.

"Then, as you perhaps know, I write fantasy novels which sell very well. People really like swords and sorcery, dragons, kick-ass female heroes and smoking hot sex scenes!

James had another sip of Bourbon. He had actually read a few of Shelley's novels, but was a bit ashamed to admit it.

"All in all, I'm good for a couple of hundred millions. US Dollars. Though much of it is in long-term investments and real estate. Unlike Uncle Scrooge, I don't have a money bin. All in all, my annual income is some thirty million dollars. So, dear future father-in-law, what do you bring home to the nest, per annum?"

James acknowledged the financial statement with another swig directly from the bottle, somewhat awed by the figures quoted.

"If you'll excuse me," he said, "all these romantic issues have made me quite dizzy. I think I need to go watch a few talking trains on the telly."

He left the kitchen with a rather unsteady gait. The remaining women looked at each other in some sort of exasperated agreement.

"Really, Shelley," Kim said. "How come you have all these degrees in languages? When did you have time to do all this?"

"Well, you know, starting out as a henchwoman, it's all very much about waiting around till something happens. I didn't want to drink and play poker with the rest of the guys, so I read, I took online courses under a false name, and I had these audio courses where you are supposed to learn a new language while you sleep. And it seems the comet didn't just make me strong and beautiful, it also gave me a really good memory."

"Impressive!"

"So, when I got the pardon, I just approached the universities where I had taken online courses, told them my real name and sat the exams. _Et voilà!_ "

Kim gave Shelley a kiss on the cheek. "My genius!"

Anne cleared her throat. "Well," she said, "Anyway, that went about as well as could be hoped. Don't worry, girls. It's just a bit of a shock to his system. He doesn't handle changes very well."

"Ya don't say!"

"So, let's get rid of the Bourbon. Do you want some sparkling wine for a toast? It's not proper champagne, mind you, but some other bubbly."

Kim and Shelley exchanged glances again.

"Just a little, then. It's still early in the day."

Anne popped the cork on a bottle of Prosecco and produced three champagne flutes.

"Well, here's to you, the happy couple! When are you planning to have the ceremony?"

Kim surprised Shelley by immediately having a response.

"On Saturday, just short of three weeks from now. Ron, Yori and their kid is coming to visit in four weeks, and we'd like to be married before they arrive."

"We would? Yes, of course we would. So there's not much time."

"And are you planning a religious ceremony, or are you thinking of a Justice of the Peace or something similar? Not an Elvis impersonator, I hope?"

"It may surprise you," Shelley said, "but I would like a Christian ceremony in a church. Not a huge do, but fairly big."

"You're right,"said Anne, "it does surprise me. Do you have something particular in mind?"

"Well, there is this big Lutheran church in downtown Upperton. I know they have married same-gender couples before."

The Possible family were Baptists but tended to be quite progressive in their thinking.

"So, you think they have time to fit you in so quickly?"

Shelley shrugged. "We can always ask."

"And who are you inviting?"

"Well, family and close friends, right," Kimmie said, with a questioning glance at Shelley. There was a lot they hadn't managed to decide yet.

"So," Anne said, "me and James, the twins, Uncle Slim and Cousin Joss, Nana, and perhaps cousin Larry and his mother? How about the Stoppables?"

Kim hesitated. "Well, I'd like to invite Hana, but if we tell Mr. and Mrs. Stoppable, they'll tell Ron and Yori, and I'm not sure about that."

"Look," Shelley said, "I don't really get this urge to keep it a secret from the Buffoon, but if it is important to you I'm sure we could ask his parents not to tell him."

"That would be good, actually," Kim said. "So what about your family? Shall we invite your brothers?"

Shelley shuddered. "Well, I guess we can't very well not invite them. And my parents. There are also some grandparents who would be insulted if they are excluded, even if they all hate me."

Anne made notes. "And then we have friends and colleagues. Wade, of course. Tara and Leslie. Monique. Felix?"

"Yeah, and I guess we can't avoid Drew, Ed and Electronique," Shelley said.

"… nor Dr. Director and Will Du."

Most of the supervillains that had been around during Kim's teen-age hero days had retired. Some had, like Drakken and Shego, gotten only ones still hard at it were Gemini and his WEE, and Professor Dementor. The latter's plans had gotten increasingly silly, though. In spite of his black bucket helmet, the good professor had probably gotten a few to many hits on the head to be entirely sane. If he ever was. Duff Killigan was busy managing a whisky distillery on his ancestral island. Frugal Lugre had gotten into crypto-currency speculation. The Seniors nowadays only did shady financial deals, but were too smart and rich to get caught. Ed and Electronique had opened a company together, restoring vintage cars and building hot-rods.

"So, looks like we'll be just shy of forty guests. That should be managable," Anne said.

Kelley and Stacey came rushing in, grabbed the table edge and started jumping up and down impatiently.

"Mum", Stacey hollered. "Grandpa has fallen asleep!"

"He's snoring ever so loudly," Kelley continued.

"We can't hear what the trains are saying no more!"

"And he knocked his bottle over!"

"The carpet is super-wet!"

"Girls," Anne said, trying to calm them down. "Grandpa just got a bit of a surprise and is a bit shocked. It would be nice to let him sleep for a bit."

"A surprise? Mum, Aunt Shelley, what have you done now?"

Kim and Shelley again exchanged glances.

"Kids," Shelley said. "It's nothing bad. It's just that Kimmie and I have decided to get married."

"Cool," Stacey said. She had after all been talking to Aunt Shelley about the possibility just the day before.

Kelley, however, looked a little disappointed.

"Sweetie?" Shelley asked. "What's the matter? Don't you want to have Kimmie for a mother?"

"Well, you did promise me a cat. This is not instead of a cat, is it?"

Shelley laughed. "No, Sweetie. I did promise you a cat. Marrying Kimmie is just extra, because I love her very much!"

"Shelley, are you sure?"

"What, that I love you? Of course I'm sure!"

"No, I mean about a cat. What if it runs away? What if it gets hit by a car?"

"Well, that's why we are getting a cat from the shelter, and not an itty-bitty little kitten. Hopefully, it will appreciate a new home, and it will already know to be careful about traffic. Okay?"

"Well, … I guess. It would have been nice to have been consulted, is all. What if I were allergic to cats?"

"Are you? Allergic to cats?"

"No, but that's not the point! The point is … "

"Point is, I wanna cat too," Stacey interjected.

"What?" Kimmie asked. "Can't you share one cat between you to begin with?"

"Ah," Anne said, fond remembrance in her voice, "Kids and animals. I remember you going on about getting a horse, Kimmie-cub".

Kim looked slightly embarrased. "Well, I never got one, did I? And not an owl, either!"

Shelley began thinking the conversation too demanding. She grabbed her champagne flute and the bottle of bubbly and sneaked into the living-room, sprawling in the armchair that Mr. Dr. P. was not sleeping in. She toasted him silently with her Prosecco and turned her attention to the telly. It seemed a cow had gotten onto the track, forcing the 7 a.m. express to London to stop while the engine driver, the fireman, the guard and a number of intrepid passengers all gathered to offer opinions on how to best get it to go away. The proud and disdainful blue 4-6-2 steam engine, apparently going by the name of Gordon, was extremely upset.

"Married life is going to be interesting," Shelley thought.


	4. Chapter 4

**Saturday morning, a few weeks later**

When you are four years old, three working weeks and two weekends are an immense ocean of time. When you start out the first Monday by going to the shelter and coming back with your very own cat, the weeks seem like an entire lifetime of experiences.

The time, however, does pass, and one Saturday morning you are suddenly put into a strange and uncomfortable dress of a horrible colour and told to go outside and to keep out of the way. But you are not to get dirty, not rip your clothes and not wander off and get lost.

To cap it all, Stacey and Kelley were told that someone would soon come outside to keep an eye on them.

"What's the point of being outside together if we are not allowed to do anything," Kelley complained.

"Yeah, this is super-boring," Stacey agreed.

The cat didn't say anything. She was talking leaves on the lawn.

After a while, the Possible kitchen door opened and Aunt Joss stepped out onto the patio.

This, at least, was good news. Except for their mothers, Aunt Joss was by far the most fun and most bad-ass relative of them all.

"Hiya, kids! What'cha doin'?"

"Nothing," Stacey answered pointedly.

"Hanging with Mal," Kelley continued.

"Mal?"

"Yeah, this is Mal. She's a cat. Mal is short for Mallyfishent, the beautiful green lady in Sleeping Beauty," Kelley explained.

"O' course!" Of course, the daughter of Shelley McGoohan would see Maleficent as the glorious main character of that particular movie. Of course, her name was a bit of a mouthful for small kids. Hence Mal. "What kin'a cat is she?"

Stacey shrugged. "She's just a cat."

"Ah. Non pure-bred american shorthair, then?"

"No, cat. She's all black with a white patch under her chin."

This much was obvious to even the most casual observer, but Stacey evidently thought it needed saying.

"Hi there, Mal," Joss Possible said, reaching out to scratch the little cat behind the ears. Mal purred.

'"Why aren't you in a pink dress, like us? Aren't you going to the church?

"Sure," Joss responded. "Ah'm one of the maids a' honour, after all. But Ah'll be drivin' my bike there, and then a dress isn't very handy. Ah'll change when Ah get to the church."

"That's not fair! Why couldn't we dress at the church, too?"

"Well, Ah guess your mommies won't really have the time to help you with that later. An' they're getting dressed right now as well."

"Well, I think we could all go dressed as usual, anyway. You look great just like that, Aunt Joss."

Kelley blushed a little with the last statement. She didn't usually compliment other women on their looks.

Aunt Joss was dressed in what she always wore for work. That meant she had skinny black jeans riding low on her hips and her feet stuck into slightly scuffed cowboy boots. Her white tank top was short and, in combination with the jeans, left a lot of her belly bare, displaying a nasty scar down the left side of her abdomen. On her head, she had a large and floppy renaissance-style beret with a big, golden badge at the side. The badge showed an intricate and spooky-looking symbol; the same design that was also displayed in silver on the back of her black leather biker's jacket together with her company logo, JP3I. This was meant to be pronounced Jippee-Three-Eye and stood for Jocelyn Possible Paranormal Private Investigator. She had pilot-style sunglasses with the kind of lenses that look like mirrors from the outside; the glasses partly hiding another scar running from her right eyebrow and down over her cheek. This was, according to Stacey and Kelley, the coolest outfit ever and well suited for formal occasions like church weddings.

"Thanks, kids," Joss said, "but Kimmie and Shelley have asked me to be one of the maids of honour and Aunt Monique has decided that means that Ah need to wear a pink dress, too. An' she says it's a light terracotta, and not pink."

The children thought for a while, before Kelley presented the assembly with a statement.

"You know," she said, "the mummies are all so worked up about this and so stressed, that I guess we should try to do like they want. The leastest problem and they're gonna have a meltdown. Kimmie-mum will drive her first through the living-room wall again."

"Shelley-mother will melt the kitchen sink!"

"Your Kimmie-mummie will throw the TV through the window! And the video game consoles!"

"Your mum will just leave a big smoking hole in the ground were the house stood!"

The consequences seemed severe, but at the same time very entertaining for four year olds.

"So," Joss said, "you're gonna behave, then? That's mighty mature of ya!"

"Yeah, I guess …"

"… this once!"

Mal also decided to behave nicely, and jumped up onto the lap of Aunt Joss and, after some pawing around, went to sleep.

So Joss petted the cat. The cat slept. Time passed. Stacey and Kelley did nothing much, shuffling their shows in the dust in spite of the promises of good behaviour.

After a while, Kelley had some questions.

"Have you caught any ghosts lately, Aunt Joss?"

"Ghosts? Who do ya think Ah am? The Ghostbustahs? Ghosts are mostly harmless, anyway. Ah try to leave them alone if Ah can."

"Any slimy monsters, then?"

"No monsters lately."

"Well," Stacey continued probing, "howsabout trolls?"

"Yeah, Ah did actually catch a troll a coupl'a weeks back, up in the mountains. It was a small troll, living under a small bridge, but people complained."

"Did it eat all the goats?"

"No, no goats around. But people walking their dogs had some trouble. So Ah caught it and released it way up inna' mountains. Nasty critter. It tried to bite me in … well, my backside."

The girls giggled.

"So all the folks were happy, then? You're a hero?"

"Not so much. The one that called me in paid my fee, but nobody else knows what happened. But the dogs, now, they were happy! Ah got a lot of sticks, balls, dog-treats and bones as a thank you!"

More giggles, although the girls were not entirely certain that Aunt Joss was serious all the time. Didn't matter. Catching trolls was an awesome job.

"Hey, Kittycat? Ya don't want a stick or a bone, do ya? How about a ball?"

"Not if a dog has slobbered on it!"

"Right. Ah'll bring ya a proper cat toy, instead, okay?"

The cat paid no attention to these promises, but continued purring in her sleep as Joss stroked her.

Eventually, Grandma Anne opened the kitchen door.

"Hey, girls! Come on in. Miss Flores is going to give us some final instructions."

Stacey and Kelley knew Miss Flores better as Aunt Zita. She was a cheerleading friend of Kimmie-mum, like Miss Tara and the Bonnie-witch. She was invited to the wedding, but she also had a job fixing parties and arranging events, and Shelley-mother had immediately engaged her as a wedding planner.

There were a lot of folks in the Possible living room: Grandpa James and Great-grandma Nana; Uncle Slim, Uncle Wade and Uncle Drew; and Cousin Larry and his mother.

"Now, listen up!" Aunt Zita said and rapped her knuckles on the door jamb to get everyone's attention. "Just a few last things!

"First, Kimberly is leaving now, with Tara as company, in one of the limos."

"The Bentley S3," Uncle Slim supplied.

"Yeah, one of the cars. Shelley will leave from her own house soon, with Monique, in the other limo."

"The Duesenberg Town Car."

"Whatever. Don't interrupt, please. When the brides are out of the way, Joss can drive to the church on her bike…"

"Triumph Bonneville bobber…"

Aunt Zita glared at Uncle Slim, and proceeded to speak over his words.

"We can then all go out to the vintage bus and board. Now, three things about that: first, it is, as you can all see, a double decker. All of you that can, please sit on the top floor, and leave the lower deck to any that may have difficulties with the stairs. Okay?

"Second, it is imported from England and made for driving on the left side of the road. So, the doors open on the wrong side, out into the traffic. So pay attention when leaving the bus, please!

"And third, there aren't actually any back doors, just an open platform. So don't walk around in the bus but sit down properly so that nobody falls off. Clear?"

Uncle Slim grabbed his brother's arm to get his attention and mumbled, "It is an AEC Routemaster in London Transport red." Zita heard him and gave him the evil eye.

"And it's more than fifty years old, so don't complain about any lack of comfort or anything. Mr. Lipsky loves it and would be very upset.

"So, we board the bus and go to the Middleton Plaza to pick up Shelley's brothers, parents and relatives. Then we go to the church.

"There is a reception room in the building beside the church where we can all wait for the ceremony. There will be some snacks and something to drink while you wait." She looked especially at Stacey and Kelley. "Please note that you can't go to the bathroom once the wedding starts, so don't eat or drink too much.

"Now, last thing. You may meet some people at the wedding that you don't actually know, but you may recognize. To be absolutely frank, some of these may have a shady past or even outstanding warrants for their arrest. But don't worry. They are friends of Kimberly and Shelley back from the crime-fighting days, and they are there under truce. The GJ knows about it and it's okay. Dr. Director herself will attend, so everything is under control. But – and this is important – do not call the police or try to make a citizens arrest or anything! That would be a very, very bad idea that could really ruin the day for Kimberly and Shelley. Are we clear?"

The adults all nodded and agreed, even if some of them looked a little doubtful.

Kelley and Stacey thought it was ever so exciting. Some real villains attending their mothers' wedding was just what the party needed, in their opinion. Things were looking up.

—

Sorry for the wait. Here is finally chapter 4. The wedding itself is approaching, and perhaps some drama.

The wait is partly due to my starting a fanart project, illstrating a scene from chapter 3. Keep watch on my deviant-art pages and it will appear! I will give you the link when it's up!

/Feudor


	5. Chapter 5

**Later that Saturday**

"Aunt Joss, what time is it?"

"Why doesn't it start, already?"

"We have nothing to do!"

"It's super-boring!"

"Whoa, there, kids! What's with all the noise? You have to be a bit patient!"

"But – nothing happens! We're just waiting, and waiting …"

"Yeah, welcome to the grown-up world. Y'all will be facing much more waiting than this," Aunt Joss said. "Look, it's almost half past twelve and it's suppose' to start at one o'clock. So, not much longer now!"

"Half an hour is really, really long when we have nothing to do!"

"Well, go sit in the children's corner over there and read a book or sumthin'."

"Nah – we can't read yet!"

"Oh. Well, there are lots of picture books, you can read them."

"Nah, they're for babies!"

"Yeah, childish."

"O-kay. And ya' didn'a bring any handheld games or sumthin'?"

"Nah – we thought something would actchally happen!"

"You could tell us some stories, Aunt Joss!"

"Yeah, about werewolfies and vampilers and stuff!"

"Well, no. Mummy Kimmie is real nervous right now and Ah have to go talk to her. But I know – you haven't said hello to all the maids of honour, have ya?"

"Why, 'cause we have. It's you, Aunt Mo', and Miss Tara!"

"No, there are four of us. You can go and introduce yourselves to Miss Pamela, over there."

Stacey and Kelley were on the verge of rejecting also that idea as boring, until Kelley actually caught sight of Miss Pamela. She was a tall, thin lady with a similar dress as the other maids of honour, but hers wasn't pink – it was a dark green. Her skin was even greener than Shelley-mother's. Her hair was even redder than Kimmie-mum's, falling to her shoulders in elegant waves. This was probably someone worth talking to, in Kelley's opinion.

"Come, Stacey," she said and, grabbing her soon-to-be sister by the hand, walked up to the green lady.

Joss Possible shook her head and walked away to comfort her slightly nervous cousin.

—=—

"Hello!" Kelley said. "Are you Miss Pamela? We are the Flower Girls! I'm Kelley and she's Stacey."

"I am indeed Pamela Isley," the lady answered in a deep melodious voice. "How do you do?"

"We are bored!" Kelley announced, not understanding that you shouldn't really answer the question but just say 'how do you do' back.

"Yeah," Stacey added, "there's just a lot of nothing happening!"

"Well, come and sit here on the sofa and we can talk for a while," Miss Pamela said. "So, flower girls, eh? Very important, flowers. A pity they are all cut and dead."

"Dead?" Stacey asked, looking at the bunch in her hands. "They look fine to me."

"Well, yes, for now. But once you cut them off and remove them from their soil, they can't grow anymore and they all start to die. We are just enjoying the sight of them before they begin to droop."

"Oh. That's sad."

"But flowers are pretty," Kelley said, looking at her own bunch.

"Yeah, but if you keep them in pots, with earth, nutrients and water, then we can all enjoy living plants. Wouldn't that be better?"

The girls didn't know what nutrients were but felt it best to agree, anyway.

"Yeah, but we have been told to carry these buckets of flowers… "

" _Bouquets_ , I guess. But I know – let's make that better, shall we?"

Miss Pamela took two big glasses from the refreshment table and filled them with earth from a big pot with a large green plant in it. She then dropped a few seeds from her purse into the soil, patted it down and poured some water from a carafe over it. In just a few seconds, the glasses each had a crop of beautiful flowers.

"Wow!" Stacey exclaimed.

"That's magic!" Kelley decided.

"Not really magic," Miss Pamela said, "but a wonder of nature all the same. Can you carry those?"

"Sure!"

"No problem!"

"Good. Much better. So, what shall we talk about?"

"Well … how do you know our moms? Are you a relative of Shelley-mother?"

"Because we are both green? No, we are not related. I know your mothers from back when Kim used to hunt criminals."

"Oh," Stacey said, suddenly suspecting something. "Are you a villain?"

"Weeeell, that depends a bit on who you ask."

"Depends?"

"See, let's say that I break into the camp of an amazonian lumber company and destroy their equipment, their chainsaws and their bulldozers and stuff. So I break a few things, but I stop them from laying waste to a beautiful patch of rainforest where some unique plants grow. Does that make me a villain?"

Stacey wasn't sure but, to be polite, she said she guessed it didn't.

"Or I might break into a chemical company to destroy their latest pesticide formula, which would also kill a lot of bees and endanger pollination world wide?"

Kelley didn't know what a polly-nation was but the lady seemed nice so she also went with 'not-a-villain'.

"Or an agriculture conglomerate to trash their research on dangerous gene-modified species?"

Now the girls were totally lost and just looked at Miss Pam.

"Oh, make no mistake," she said. "I have done a lot worse. I have robbed banks, stolen jewellery, kidnapped CEO's and generally wreaked havoc. But not in this state. So as long as Global Justice doesn't ship me back to Gotham, I should be fine."

"You do know that Aunt Betty is here? She's the head of GJ."

"Yeah, and she was the one who promised to not send me back. So we are all good."

The girls thought the situation over in silence for a while.

"Miss Pamela? I don't care if you are a local villain in Gottem; you seem nice enough around here! As long as you don't wreak a havoc just now."

"Why, thank you, Stacey. But I'm afraid I have to go powder my nose, now."

"Why do you want to powder your nose, Miss Pamela? Don't you like it green?"

Pamela laughed. "That's just a silly way of saying that I have to go to the toilet."

Kelley and Stacey looked at each other, conveying their mutual view that this was a really stupid way of saying it.

"Well," Pamela said, "You just keep hold of your flowers. You can go back to the big entrance to the church and sneak a peak to see if there's a lot of people yet. But don't let them see you – your dresses and ours should be a surprise.

"No worries! We are good at sneaking!

"Bye, Miss Pamela!"

—=—

Kelley and Stacey skipped and jumped their way to the connection between the meetinghouse and the church between the big towers by the main entrance.

Just before they crossed over to the church itself, they passed some restrooms.

"Wait here, Stacey," Kelley said. "I gotsta powder me' nose!"

Stacey gave a snort of a laugh, but took both their glasses of flowers and leaned against the wall to wait.

It took a long time. Maybe Kelley had some trouble handling the stupid dress. Meanwhile, Stacey watched the people entering the church. Aunt Zita stood in the middle of the entry hall, gave them each a folded paper and showed them inside.

After a while, an old man came into the church from the outside. He hesitated a bit but then came over to speak to Stacey instead of saying hello to. Aunt Zita.

"Good morning, my dear girl," he said. "Would you by any chance be Stacey Anne Possible?"

Stacey looked suspiciously at him.

"Can't say," she said.

"Come now, surely you know your own name?"

"Of course I do, but I can't say. I'm not allowed to speak to strange old men."

The man gave a little laugh. "I see! But if I introduced myself, I wouldn't be a strange man anymore, and then, perhaps, you could tell me your name?"

"Yeah, but we would be talking while we did that, so it's still no."

"Well, that's a problem then. Perhaps you friend Kelley is around somewhere? She knows me."

"I can't tell you that she's in the restroom."

"I see. Then I guess I cannot tell you that I will wait for her here, either?"

"Nope."

At the point, they both heard the toilet flush, the water in the faucet running and the electric hand-dryer blowing. A few seconds later Kelley emerged.

"Grandpa! Are you suppose' to be here?"

"Hello, there, Kelley! How is my favourite grandchild?"

"Alright, I guess."

"Could you perhaps introduce me to your friend?"

Kelley rolled her eyes at the chore, but performed a well-behaved introduction.

"Stacey, this is my grandpa, Mister Senior," she said in a bored voice."

"How do you do, Miss Stacey? My name is Alejandro Ricardo Senior Calderon. Kelley's dad, Junior, is my son."

"Grandpa, what are you doing here? Didn't Bonnie and Mom make some sort of promise we should never see each other again?"

"Ah, yes, indeed. However, when Bonita told me about it, there seemed to be some confusion in her mind wether that included me, or not. So before I go and sit down in the church, I thought I would ask you if I would be welcome or not."

"Oh. Well, I'm not sure, actchally. Should I go ask Mum?"

"No, don't disturb her with that now. I don't want to upset her if I'm not supposed to be here."

"Well, I know! You should go and sit far back in the church so that nobody notices you!"

"Darling girl, your mother is very good a noticing things. She would be sure to spot me, anyway."

"Yeah, but if you sit far enough back, she can **_pretend_** she hasn't seen you. And, if afterwards, she **_still_** pretends that you aren't there, you will know you shouldn't have come. But if she comes up and says 'why, hello there, mister Grandpa', you will know it's alright!"

"Now, that is clever! I think I will do just that."

Kelley led him up to the doorway to the church itself. "There," she said, "You can sit there, beside that pillar!"

Mr. Senior shook both girls by the hand and went in to claim his place.

—=—

There still seemed to be some time left before the start and people kept trickling in. Most had black or grey suits; some of them the silly kind with long tails down behind. The women all had beautiful dresses in sissy colours.

One elderly man stood out.

"Hey, that man is wearing a skirt."

"Hush, Kelley. Maybe he likes dressing in girls' clothes."

"Or, he might be from some funny furrein' country. He has a silly hat, too!"

"When I get married, nobody will have to wear silly clothes!"

"Yeah, me, too! Jeans, t-shirts and sneakers for everybody."

—=—

Eventually, the Maids of honour and the church lady arrived. She was dressed in a long, white dress with wide sleeves. Kelley thought it looked like she had meant to be a Halloween ghost, but had accidentally poked her head out through the sheets. She had a bright red band with a lot of stitched crosses and flowers hung around her neck. Yeah, jeans and t-shirts, definitely, for when I gets married, Kelley thought.

The church lady also had an assistant that looked like a slightly smaller version of herself, as well as an older churchly gentleman with totally white hair. He was dressed in an ordinary black suit but with a funny collar.

Zita started marshalling everyone in order. She placed Stacey and Kelley first, side by side. Then there was a gap before the Maids – first Miss Tara and Aunt Monique, then Aunt Joss and Miss Pamela. Behind them, the church people in a sort of V, with the church lady at the point.

Suddenly, the bells started ringing. Not like the school bell that Miss Tara rang to start her lessons, but several big, loud and slow bells. Stacey and Kelley looked up, but the bells were not visible. All they could see was the vaulted ceiling of the entrance hall.

When they looked down again, the Mothers had slipped into place behind them, just ahead of the two first Maids. Kimmie-mummy stood behind Stacey and Shelley-mother behind Kelley. Shelley looked a bit paler than usual and Kim a bit nervous, but they were both very, very beautiful in the dresses that Aunt Monique had made for them. Kelley began to feel a little doubt about the jeans-and-t-shirts dress code for her own future wedding. Perhaps it could be fun to look like a real princess, like Kimmie-mummy.

The bells stopped, and Shelley made a circular gesture to the girls, meaning for them to turn around and face the front. Aunt Zita crouched beside them and whispered. "Remember, walk slowly all the way to the steps at the front, turn around and then just wait for the others. I'll tell you when to start walking."

Stacey suddenly felt scared. She looked down the aisle and at all the people sitting in their benches. Most of them, she didn't know. And the ones she did know all seemed to sit at the very front, a long, long way away.

She swallowed nervously. Then she caught side of Mr. Senior, who turned around and gave her an encouraging smile. Well, he seemed friendly enough, at least.

Then, a new noise started from above their heads. It was music of some sorts, but much too loud. To Stacey, it sounded a bit like she was sitting inside the accordion Uncle Slim sometimes played.

But the high notes were really high and shrill, cutting through her head like angry wasps. The middle notes were broad and deep, seeming to take up all the air in the entire church. And the bass was hardly a sound at all, just a rumble shaking the benches and grabbing her by the collar and rattling her innards around.

"Why is it so loud?" she mouthed to Kelley, but her best friend didn't seem all that concerned.

There was a short pause in the music, and Aunt Zita nudged her on the shoulder. "Walk slowly, now," she said. "Try to do it in time with the organ."

It was probably the awful music, but Stacey felt horrible. Her head spun and her stomach seemed to have turned to liquid. She wished this wedding was over.

But halfway down the aisle, her dread eased. Perhaps it was the increased distance to the organ thing making the noise, perhaps is was the nearness to the people she knew, sitting in the benches to the front.

It was, however, difficult for them to walk in time with the organ music. It had probably been written for people with much longer legs than theirs, and they ended up just ambling along at their own pace.

Stacey let out a long sigh when they arrived at the steps and turned around. Oops! They had walked much too quickly. The mummies where not even halfway, yet, walking with measured steps in time to the music.

Grandma Anne sat in the very first bench on Stacey's side of the church. She leaned forward and dabbed a cold, wet handkerchief on Stacey's face. "Just take it easy," she whispered. "The hard part is over. Now you just have to stand there."

Eventually, all the others caught up and the loud music stopped. The Maids of Honour placed themselves to the sides, looking out on all the people from behind Stacey and Kelley. The mothers went up the three steps to the raised floor in the front of the church and waited. The church people stood in front of the brides. Aunt Zita went up to Uncle Wade and took away the remote controls for the camera drone he was flying around inside the church.

"The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all," the head church lady said. The people in the benches said "And also with you."

Stacey and Kelley soon lost track of what was happening. The church people talked, read from some book, and talked some more, all in a sort of sleepy monotone that made certain the girls did not really pay attention.

After a while, the organ started up again, but thankfully much softer, and they all sang a hymn that the Flower Girls did not know. In order to not look stupid, they sang along softly, anyway: "La, la, la."

More reading and talking. Then Uncle Wade and Uncle Slim started carrying chairs and stuff up onto the raised floor to the right of the church people. A box the size of a suitcase had a lot of cables, switches and lights on it. Uncle Ed and Aunt Elena plugged in a guitar and a strange instrument that looked mostly like a stick. They sat down and started playing. Uncle Ed did a lot of plinky-plonky sounds on what Kelley recognised as his Sammy-Coustic sparkly black guitar, and Aunt Elena did bass notes by rubbing the strings on her stick with a bow. Then Aunt Joss stepped up and started to sing.

"Ave Maria … " she sang in a high and clear voice. Some of the time, when she didn't sing, she raised a violin and played a few phrases.

It sounded promising, but in the end Stacey was disappointed. There was no beat, no riffs. Aunt Joss just stood there, singing, without the slightest of dance steps. It was all like a long calm intro to a song that never started.

When the aunts and uncle had finished, everyone in the church applauded.

"Thank you," the church lady said. "Josceline Possible, Elena Diodova and Edward Lipsky. We don't usually applaud during services, but I think we can all agree that this was worth our praise."

More reading, more talking and another hymn the girls didn't know. Then there was more music. The organ started playing again, but softly and more melodiously. Then someone standing up on the balcony in front of the pipe machine started playing a trumpet. To the surprise of Stacey and Kelley, and clearly also to the mothers, it was Uncle Will that played. Will Du, who seemed so boring and so clueless about anything other than his job as Deputy Head of Global Justice, playing the trumpet with a beautiful, full and clear tone.

This was interesting for a while, but in the end, there was no beat to his piece of music either, and although everybody clapped their hands again, Stacey was glad when it was over.

Then, finally, came the interesting bits. They had had the askings: "Kimberley Anne Possible, will you …" etc. The church lady had asked "Kimberley and Shelley, will you be faithful and loving parents to Stacey and Kelley Possible McGoohan?" The mothers had said that they would.

"So, Stacey and Kelley," the church lady continued, "will you be good and obedient children and help Kimberley and Shelley in their married life?"

This was a bit of a surprise, and Kelley, for one, was not prepared.

"Does this mean that we always have to do everything the mummies say, all the time?" she asked.

There was some laughter.

"We will not ask the impossible," the church lady said, "just that you will do your best."

"Well, in that case, alright then!"

"Sure thing!" Stacey agreed.

The mothers had exchanged rings, and the church lady had blessed them. More reading, more talking. Then the mothers had kissed.

Finally. Now came the high point of it all – the tossing of the bouquet. Kelley had watched a lot of American Funny Videos, and knew that at the end, you were supposed to toss the flowers out to all that watched to see who would be married next.

"To the next in line!" she shouted and pitched her glass of flowers out over the benches. It was not a gentle underhand toss, but rather like a baseball pitcher's throw, fast and hard. The glass hit Uncle Drew right in the face and he slid unconsciously down out of his seat.

"Drakkie-poo!" a round lady with glasses screamed shrilly.

Stacey thought perhaps that Kelley had made some sort of mistake, but she was a good friend and couldn't let her new sister be the only one to misbehave.

"Here comes the bride," she hollered and threw her own glass of flowers. In contrast to Kelley, she did it overhand with her arm stretched right out, like a fast bowler in cricket.

"Batter up!" a very pale lady with blond hair in pigtails shouted, jumped out into the aisle and hit the flower glass a mighty whack with a baseball bat she had for some reason brought to church.

If it had been a ball she had hit, it would surely have sailed straight out of the stadium. Unfortunately, as we all know, it was a rather big drinking glass with soil and plants in it. Upon impact with the bat, it exploded in a cloud or dirt and glass shards. Ed Lipsky, who had stepped out into the aisle behind the pale lady with the intent of catching the flowers, was all but invisible in the puff of debris.

"Harley! My flowers!" Miss Pamela wailed.

"Eddie!" Aunt Elena cried.

A blond woman and a red-headed woman, both with athletic builds, stepped out and and grabbed the woman with the bat by an arm each.

"Well, Babs," the blond one said, "she behaved for all of forty minutes. Must be a record."

Grandma Anne rushed over to see to Uncle Drew. A janitor brought a stretcher in. The littler church lady went and got a broom to clear the earth and the glass from the floor.

"Hah!" Uncle Wade shouted. "I got it all on tape!"

But Uncle Will went up to him and relieved him of the camera.

Aunt Betty sidled up to Miss Pamela. "Well, well," she said. "Assault with a deadly weapon. You gave them the glasses, didn't you? That makes you an accessory. First strike in the state of Colorado. It's Arkham for you, my dear!"

"What! I did nothing except give them the plants. It wasn't my idea for them to throw them!"

Aunt Betty looked severely at Miss Pam for a few seconds. Then they both burst out laughing.

"Well, well. Such mothers, such kids, eh?"

"Sorry, mum!" Kelley said. Stacey didn't say anything audible but looked shamefaced enough.

—==—

After a couple of minutes, everything had returned to normal. Dr. Lipsky had been carried out. The lady with the bat was back in her seat, but with the blond and the red-head sitting on either side of her. Uncle Eddie, a little dirty but none the worse for wear, was also sitting in his bench.

The church lady waved to the man at the organ machine on the balcony and loud music started again. They all marched out, in the same order as they had entered. In the entry hall, Aunt Zita steered everyone into the connecting corridor to the meetinghouse. The idea was for the procession to get out of the way so that everyone in the church could leave and gather on the front steps. The brides would then come out of the church for photos, throwing of rice and things like that.

"You do not throw anything at all," Aunt Zita said to the girls. "Given the chance, I bet you would each hurl an entire ten-pound sack of rice!"

The whole procession had turned right towards the meetinghouse, except for the brides. They had sneaked away to the left and had currently hid in the janitors little office, kissing tenderly.

Aunt Zita had to be calmed down by the Maids of honour at the disappearance of the main characters of her show. But Kelley and Stacey had seen them sneak away and planned to tell everyone where they were. Eventually.


	6. Chapter 6

_Sorry for the delay. I kept writing and writing, wondering why it took such a lot of time, until I realised I had written a block of text that was three times as long as my usual chapters. And it didn't feel finished yet._

 _So, I quickly decided to cut it in two, and here you have the first part._

 _/Feudor_

 **… and moving into the afternoon**

Eventually, the newlyweds emerged at the top pf the steps outside the church, receiving the cheers, camera flashes and thrown rice of the audience gathered below.

After a suitable pause, they descended the steps and took up their positions at the spot designated by the official photographer in front of all the impressively professional equipment. There then followed a complex choreography of different photo-shoots, with the couple, the flower girls, the maids of honour, and with different sets of parents and relatives.

The photographer, a slim woman with a blond pixie-cut, handled everything with military precision, more or less aided by the more frantic and nervous Miss Flores. After a while, the latter looked as hot and flushed as if she had run five laps around the church.

Slim Possible walked up to where Ed Lipsky and Elena Diodova were watching.

"Impressive camerawork," he said. "Is that a hired photographer, or is it also a friend of the couple?"

"Not friend," said Elena. "More acquaintance."

"Yeah, seriously. More of a former foe."

"Really?"

"Yeah, that's Adrena Lynn. She used to be a professional stuntwoman with her own cable tv show, until Red caught her cheating. And then things got worse, seriously."

"Lynn went prison, lost job. Never work in tv more, so decided to switch, behind camera."

"Well, she must be very good at it to be able to afford that equipment. That's a digital Hasselblad on the tripod. And a professional Canon with a huge telephoto lens. Not to mention all the lighting gear."

"She good, but mostly, she discrete."

"Yeah, seriously, with her criminal past, she has some reputation in shady circles. She'll do photo shoots for anyone, and they trust her not to tell."

"She take family photos of the mob, the Yakuza, the Triads, the Russkies, the Colombian drug barons, the lot. They pay, knowing she don't talk."

"Oh!" Slim was a bit anxious at all these underground connections. "Will she come as a guest at the party?"

"Not guest. Photographer only."

Whatever her dubious connections, Lynn worked efficiently and the crowd watched. Wade started irritating everyone by flying another camera drone overhead, but this one was quickly taken out by the pig-tail blond. She jumped up and struck it clean out of the sky with her bat, which had evidently been temporarily returned to her for just this purpose. The assembled guests cheered and the blond and her escorts did high fives, until Wade just calmly opened a big case and picked up another, identical drone.

Despite all the professionalism, Slim noted a certain stiffness between different groups of relatives.

"Is it just me, or do different parts of Shelley's family not like each other all that much?"

"That is, seriously, true. The family of Shelley's mother hates her father and his folks. And it's mutual."

"They not approve of marriage between Natascha and Patrick."

"That's sad."

All the photos having now been taken, it was now time for the newly-weds to make their way to the party. One of Ed's vintage cars drew up by the curb and the driver got out.

"Oh! A Bentley Blower," Slim exclaimed. And it was, in fact, a 4,5 litre supercharged Bentley with the classic Le Mans bodywork in British racing green.

"She sure is, seriously," Ed said. "It is my most treasured vintage car, and I'm seriously nervous about letting the ladies drive it."

The ladies in question, however, did not seem nervous at all, bickering about who would get the privilege of driving. The argument came to a standstill when Kim jumped into the driver's seat while Shelley collected the keys from the driver. I didn't end until Kimmie realised that the manual four-speed gearbox was fully unsynchronised, and that she would have to double de-clutch every gear-shift. At that point, she gracefully surrendered her place to Shelley, who did not seem as daunted by such a technological challenge.

Shelley started the engine, which emitted a characteristic snarky gurgle. Everybody waved and the car pulled away with expert handling. Ed sighed in relief.

A number of guests walked away to get their own cars. Joss, who had changed back to her working clothes, went to get her bike. Miss Flores started arranging the transports for the rest of the guests to the Lakeside Manor, where the dinner and party were being held. Limousines from Motor Ed's Rental Service queued up at the roadside and Zita checked off the passengers embarking on a clip-board.

"Do you have a ride?" Ed asked Slim.

"Not really, I thought I'd just get in line ..."

"Come with us, instead, seriously. We are taking Drew and Wade also, but there's plenty of room. And I think you will like Doris."

"Doris?"

In answer, Elena produced a remote control and a headset.

"Go, Doris," she said, and lights started showing green on the display of the remote. "Start, pull out of spot, go right, second left, stop when you see us."

There was the rumble of a huge V-8 starting and a bright red Cadillac Eldorado, the model with the huge fins, began making its way towards them from the parking. Elena stepped up to the curb and the car came to a smooth stop beside her. Nobody was in the driving seat.

"Wow," Slim said, "That's a beauty! Self-driving, too?"

"Yes. We not have permit to drive her like that, though, so hope you not tell GJ guests."

"Of course! I don't really have any permits for using my robot inventions either."

"Da. You build horses, right?"

"Among other things, yes."

"Get in! We should talk."

Drew, Wade and Slim got into the back seat, while Elena choose shotgun and Ed got behind the wheel.

"Good afternoon, Ed," the car said. "Are you driving?"

"I'll drive, Doris, seriously."

"You drive," the car confirmed.

"That's really impressive," Slim said. "Is it a full AI?"

"No," Elena answered. "More like advanced smart phone assistant with improved interface and connections to self-driving car technology, on-board diagnostics and really good navigation system. Let me demonstrate. Doris, status please."

"Everything is fine. We have a three-quarter full tank. Oil pressure is good. Water temperature is fine. Weather is dry and sunny, temperature 73 degrees Fahrenheit, 23 Centigrade. Windscreen washer fluid level is low."

"Good. Remind me of water when we get gas next time, Doris."

"Will do." The car paused for a while, then had a question. "Where are we going?"

"We are going to Lakeside Manor. It's on the Clearwater Drive, just on far side of Westerton."

"I've got it. It should take about 39 minutes. Do you want me to drive?"

"Yeah, why not, seriously. Tell me when we are five minutes out."

"Okay. I drive."

"You drive, Doris."

Ed let go of the wheel and relaxed in his seat.

"Are you going to market this technology at all?" Wade asked.

"No. We small company. No resources to get security approval and show quality of production. Could sell it, of course, but then we need spend money on patents and stuff."

"I see. Just like Load & Lipsky. We though we'd manufacture hovercrafts, but it was too much of a hassle."

"Yeah," Drew said, "because a hovercraft has no aerodynamic properties at all. A power failure or other major problem and it will drop like a stone. Nobody would want to buy an aircraft like that."

"So that's why we formed Load & Lipsky Industrial Lifting, using the hovercraft technology to manufacture a sort of mix between drones and cranes…"

"Ha! Crones, seriously! Or Dranes!"

"No, Ed, definitely not. But as you know, those are a success. You can lift heavy stuff in difficult places without having to erect a big-ass crane, and all the construction companies want some. Maybe you could adapt your tech to do something different. Managing intelligent homes, maybe."

"Don't know. Does not sound very exciting. Better have as hobby project, just for us."

"Yeah, seriously. We have plenty of more fun things to do, what with the E&E Rods and Restorations, the Motor Ed Rental Services, and the Ellipse musical technology and sound equipment…"

"We could use more people. Slim, you interested?"

"Wow. Thank you for asking. But why do you think I could help?"

"Well, Drew says you build robot horses …"

"And Wade say you can do electrics, programming and metal work."

"And you seriously like vintage cars, am I right?"

"Sure. But I also have a farm to run, in Montana."

"Get caretaker. Come try for a time."

"Well, it would be nice to be closer to my little brother and his family. And to Joss, of course."

"So, come by the shop when we are sober again, next week, and let's talk! Seriously?"

"Sure," Slim said after some thought. "Sure! I would like that!"

"Good. Now, about relatives. What about your side? The English guests don't seem too friendly with you Possibles?"

"No, that's unfortunately true. A real long-term conflict. Anne's family did not approve of James as a husband, nor did they like their career choices."

"Rocket scientist and brain surgeon? What's not to like, seriously?"

"You'd be surprised. But start with Shelley's family, please."

"Okay then."

"Her mother's family from tsarist Russia. Dukes and Duchesses, landowners, very rich," Elena said. "Only thing that matters is old family, noble ancestors."

"Yeah. They got out before the revolution, though. Moved to Paris, but didn't get much of their fortune with them. They thought New York would be a cheaper place to live, seriously, so they came over."

"Still, today, money all gone. Only got stuck-up attitude left."

"And I take it Shelley's father's family is not nobility?"

"Opposite. They poor crofters in Ireland. Came over to escape starvation. But, sharp business minds. Made fortune as bankers and businessmen. Now into finance and politics"

"So they have the money that the mother's side of the family feel they should have had, but no … refinement?"

"Could say that. Natascha's family would rather starve than eat else than caviar and champagne. They listen opera. They talk posh. They have stick up their back."

"Yeah, and the McGoohans are newly-made millionaires. They can afford whatever they like, seriously, but they like burgers and bad American beer. They like country and western. They have trouble eating with a knife and fork."

"Okay. I can see why they would have different views of, well, everything."

"They really hate each other, seriously!"

"Well, I guess our situation is somewhat similar. Anne's parents are old-fashioned Oxford scholars. Her father is a professor of history, specialising in pre-Roman Britain. Her mother is a professor of archeology, focusing on the Etruscans. They live, breathe and eat oak-panelled studies. They think the first household item you should get when setting up a home is a set of sherry glasses. They dine at the college high table. And they very much dislike the applied sciences. They think it is something a monkey with a slide rule could do just as well. So, James being a rocket scientist doesn't impress them much. And they are disappointed that Anne didn't go on to be a professor of linguistics, like they had hoped. Focusing on the study of dead languages, of course. And they are very, very British. They still think of the US as the colonies."

"Ah. That explains a lot. So we really have four different sets of families that would seriously not like each other. The Brits wouldn't like the Russian nobility crowd, and they wouldn't be impressed by the bankers and politicians, either. And you farmers and scientists wouldn't really agree with any of the others either, I guess?

"No," Slim sighed, "you're probably right. Kimmie and Shelley will have a tough time trying to be accepted by anyone. It doesn't help they are a same-sex couple and that Shelley used to be a super-villain."

"I think we should change that," Wade said. "I think we should show all of them that both Kim and Shelley have qualities and connections they should be proud of."

"How would we do that?" Drew wondered.

"Well, I have drawn up a diagram of meetings we should try to arrange. All designed to make the relatives feel a connection."

Slim and Drew leaned forward, looking at the large schematics Wade spread out in his lap.

"Interesting. Very interesting! But how will we make this happen?"

"We ask Stacey and Kelley to help. By the way, Slim, do you sing?"

"Sing? Well, a bit. And I play the banjo and the guitar."

"Excellent, seriously! We will do a few hard rock classics with an impromptu band, and if you like, you could joins us for some country songs to please Patrick McGoohan!"

"It be good. Is me on bass, Joss and Ed on guitars, Possible twins on keyboards, and man called Barkin on drums! And all equipment first class, from our Elipse company!"

"Well, alright! Let's get everyone in a good mood, making acquaintances they really like!"


	7. Chapter 7

So, I've lost count on how many times I have tried to upload this chapter. At first, the copy/paste didn't work from my iPad; the 'submit' button was dead. So I tried uploading a document, but this only gave me an enormous file full of illegible format commands, with bits of the text hidden here and there.

I ported the file to my desktop, but got the same results.

Finally, I saved the chapter as 'unformatted text', copied that and pasted it it. This worked, although I had do redo all the formatting directly on the upload page, reinserting all the italics and Cyrillic characters, etc.

By that time, it was well after midnight, so I didn't notice that I had uploaded a draft chapter and not the final one.

Hopefully, what follows actually is the text as it is supposed to be!

Yours, Feudor

 **… and heading towards evening**

The Lakeside Manor was an imposing, three-storey edifice. It was built about a hundred years ago but in a style to remind you of historic Italian villas. The Bentley was parked in the forecourt, looking a bit dusty but, to Ed's relief, undamaged.

Doris drew up by the stairs to the main entrance, and they all stepped out.

"Doris, parking first right on way to exit. Notify if problem."

"Will do, Elena," the car acknowledged.

There was a serious-looking butler or _maitre_ _d'_ at the doors.

"Good evening, lady and gentlemen," he said as they approached. "May I please see your invitations?"

All the paperwork checked out, and the butler gestured towards the back of the house.

"If you would all like to go straight through to the terrace at the back, you will find refreshments and entertainment on the lawn. Restrooms, should you require them, are to your right as you go past the stairs to the first floor."

There was indeed a very large and well kept lawn behind the house, sloping gently down towards the shore. On the right-hand side, a stage had been set up and a wooden deck for dancing had been laid down. Currently, a classic big band was playing a medley of Count Basie tunes, and a few of the more spry but elderly guests were dancing. The newly-weds also danced, even if it was more like standing around hugging each other and swaying slightly to the music.

"Okay, seriously, Drew and Wade can start setting up the meetings. Slim, you come with us and we will check out some guitars and some songs. All our gear is in the tent behind the stage."

As Elena had said, the impromptu band of Friends and Family that was supposed to entertain later in the afternoon consisted of Elena on bass with Ed and Joss on guitars. The guests had of course already heard them perform in the church, but this was going to be a very different style. The Possible twins would be handling various keyboards. They were perhaps not virtuoso musicians, but they understood electronics and had swift and dexterous fingers. The big surprise was Steve Barkin on drums; both that he actually wanted to participate and also that he was a really good, hard-hitting rock drummer. Perhaps he had gone home from Middleton High every evening and sat down at his drum set to release all the frustrations of the day.

Their planned repertoire of hard rock classics were now to be supplemented by some country songs to please the MacGoohan family, and Slim, Ed and Elena wandered off to discuss what to play.

"Okay," Drew said. "How do we start this operation friendliness?"

"I think we should begin with the most difficult. Perhaps we could get some of the guests with noble titles to go talk to the Prjetenshikovs? Noble-to-noble bonding? We could start with Duff, he's some sort of Laird, right?"

"Yeah, he is. But how do we do it? Should we just march him up there and get him to talk?"

"Perhaps we could ask the kids to introduce him." He turned around and found the flower girls quite near by. "Hey, kid?"

"I'm Stacey, not Kid. And she's Kelley, also not Kid."

"Sorry, Stacey. We were just wondering if you could find Duff Killigan for us? And introduce him to the elderly couple standing over there? They seem a bit lonely and would perhaps like someone to talk to."

"Who's a Duff?"

"The Scotsman. The one in the kilt. You know, like a skirt?"

"Oh, the queer one in the stupid hat! Right. But we expect some sort of remuneration!" Big words for important stuff got picked up early, and Kelley had heard her mother say that word in many contract negotiations.

"Ah. Well, what if I get you something nice to eat or drink?"

"Make it champain, and you're on!"

"Eh … okay, but the non-alcoholic sort, in that case."

Stacey and Kelley made a grimace, but skipped away to fulfil their mission. They soon found Duff Killigan. However, they had lost the elderly Russian couple in the crowd. Being resourceful girls, they didn't allow this to faze them and quickly decided that any old man and old woman would do. Duff was marched over to the professors Merriwether from Oxford, England.

"Here," Stacey said brightly, "we found you someone to talk to!"

Duff and the professors looked a bit bewildered, but decided to make the best of the situation.

"Kids, you know," the elderly gentleman said.

"Ay coorse. But let me introduce ma'self," Duff said. "Duff Killigan, Laird of Kinbirdie."

"Oh, by Jove, how peculiar. Some bucolic minor nobleman from the Scottish Highlands," professor Audrey Merriwether said to her husband while she adjusted her wireframe glasses and peered closely at the Laird.

"Nae from the Highlands, nae," said Duff. "The family seat is in the Western Isles, Na h-Eileanan Siar."

"Then I assume you must be quite chuffed to be here among actual people, getting away from the sheep," Francis Merriwether suggested.

"Ay, I do manage the estate and there are heaps a' sheep," Duff said placatingly, even if he was a bit irritated by the remark. "But when that gets boring I also run the Glenbirdie Distillery, producing some of the finest single malt in Scotland."

"Sheep and whisky, you must indeed lead a fascinating life. Haggis and a dram for supper every day, right?"

The dryness of the professor's scholarly voice was suffused with upper-class aloofness, and one thing led to another. Their voices started rising, and the guests standing close by stopped talking in favour of listening in to the budding conflict. Wade and Drew exchanged worried glances.

"Och, aye, then – what dee ye dee yerselves that is so verra refined?" Duff's accent was broadening as his temper rose.

"I am a professor of history, and my wife is a professor of archeology. We both belong to Magdalen College in Oxford."

"Maudlin', eh? Well, professer of history, I do like tae look tae the past, too. I still hae the Claymore my ancestor used in the Blàr Allt a' Bhonnaich, hanging above my fireplace."

"Battle of Bannockburn? An unfortunate but temporary setback for the expansion of English civilisation, if you ask me."

"Weel, nobody speart ye, ya wee manky sassenach. Ye want tae see me shaw ye some civilisation, dae ye?"

"Oh, dear," the history professor said in an aside to his wife, but in a voice pitched to be easily heard by everyone. "This rather proves my point, doesn't it? Violence is never far away for these brutes. Just scratch a little on the surface, and the painted pict appears."

"Bannockburn, tha's history, man! The battle of Stirling Bridge! History! The Raid of Scone! The battle of Roslin! Robert the Bruce! William Wallace! History!" Duff was by now shouting at the top of his voice. The music and the dancing had stopped. Everybody turned their attention on the now furious scotsman and the professors.

Wade and Drew decided to intervene before a fight broke out.

"So sorry, so sorry," Drew said, barging in among the antagonists.

"Come, Duff, let's go talk to a man about a horse." Wade took the Laird by the hand and started leading him away.

"Goodness gracious me. … I feel quite faint," Audrey Merriwether said.

Monkey Fist walked up to the scholars, offering a handkerchief to the lady, and endeavoured to smooth things over. "As you no doubt noticed," he said, "Kinbirdie can come across as a bit rough, but don't be fooled. He is quite an amateur history scholar himself, although his perspective tends to be a bit north of the border."

"You don't say."

"Well, he _**is**_ very proud of his family and heritage. But please allow me to introduce myself. I am Montgomery Fiske, Count Woodsleigh, Lord of Owl Tooting Manor, and I am very much acquainted with the work of both of you."

"Woodsleigh, by Jove? Fiske? I say, are you the explorer with the unparalleled collection of East Asian religious imagery?"

"The very same."

Drew sighed in relief. Wade reappeared, having gotten Duff into talking to another guest of Scottish ancestry, a professor Philip Angus Mortimer.

"Nice save by the monkey man," Drew said. "Now they can happily discuss pottery shards the whole evening."

"Yeah, but still a fail. Who are we going to get to impress the Russians?"

"What about old man Senior? He is also some kind of nobleman, right?"

"Good idea. I'll go get the kids to fetch him. You indicate the Prjetenshikovs for them so that there's no mistake, this time."

There was a putting green on a level piece of lawn just beyond the stage. Drew sauntered by and picked up a flagstick to help in showing the kids the correct guests. Soon Stacey and Kelley came up, dragging Señor Senior by one hand each, their other hands holding champagne flutes of non-alcohol cider. Drew held up the flagstick over the heads of Shelley's maternal grandparents.

"You Russians?" Stacey asked.

"Ya'll should get talking," Kelley declared.

Senior and Shelley's maternal grandparents eyed each other in some confusion.

"Good evening," Senior finally said. "I am Alejandro Ricardo Senior Calderon, the grandfather of Shelley's daughter.

The flower girls hung around this time, listening. They felt they may have missed something interesting earlier when they had drifted away. Duff's shouting had sounded entertaining.

"Кто это?" Ekaterina Asimova asked.

"Некоторые испанские пространства," Vladimir Ivanovitch suggested.

"Oh, I can assure you that I am no peasant. I am, in fact, the Señor de los Altos Molinas. My ancestor was awarded this small group of islands already in 1136 by Ramiro II, the King of Aragon."

"Ah, you noble. How fortunate. You still rule?"

"More in a ceremonial way. Today, I am mostly a landowner and a businessman."

"Business?" The elderly tsarist nobles were shocked. "So vulgar."

"There is nothing vulgar about using your connections and your education to gather a fortune through business."

"True noble should never sink low as to handle money!"

" _De verdad_?" The Señor de los Altos Molinas grew straighter and straighter in his bearing. He was quite proud of his business sense and the fortune he hade amassed. "Well, you have to eat. I know the Duke of Cadiz very well. He drives a taxi. The Count of Aguilar de Inestrillas runs a tobacco shop. The Condestable of Lérida is a stand up comedian. I very much prefer my situation, _muchas gracias_."

Vladimir Ivanovitch sighed. "Some people traitor to their class," he said.

Both the eyes and the mouths of the flower girls were big and round. Things were heating up, while Kelley's grandfather began looking icily frightening. In his opinion, he was rather a prime example that noblemen were not just reaping the benefits of history, but were at the top of capability also in the modern world.

"So, I am guessing you, yourselves, are still independently wealthy, then?"

"We no longer have any jewellery to sell. But Russian community in New York very supportive. Sometimes, inheritance. Sometimes, gift. Sometimes, share good fortune."

"Ah, so you live off charity. Perhaps you would appreciate a small contribution." Alejandro Ricardo started reaching for his inner pocket in a gesture calculated to cause as much offence as possible. Ekaterina Asimova fainted. Vladimir Ivanovitch fumbled for a sword that was actually not hanging by his belt; his grandfather's weapons having been sold a long time ago.

Drew forcefully removed Señor Senior Calderon from the vicinity in a manner reminiscent of a hockey player crosschecking an opponent. A nearby guest caught Ekaterina Asimova before she hit the ground.

"Wow!" Kelley said, admiringly. "That's my grandpa!"

"Want us to fetch someone else?" Stacey hopefully asked Wade.

Wade was feeling quite faint. "Not just now, perhaps …"

"You should get us some ice-cream, then. Else we might just go and fetch the lady with the bat!"

Wade shuddered at the thought and resignedly started leading the girls towards the refreshment tables.

Ekaterina Asimova miraculously revived and turned to thank her saviour. "спасибо!" she said.

"Добро пожаловать," the young man replied. "Wallace of Rodigan, at your service!"

" … of Rodigan? You are the crown prince, Wallace the third?!"

"Ah! Not any more! I gave up my claim to the throne a while ago. Rodigan is now a republic."

"Alas, what pity. Still, you royal blood. We old world nobility should support each others."

"Of course. But we should also be moving with the times. Rodigan is a modern nation now, and much the better for it."

"Things can change. We could yet have Russian Tsarist court in exile. Princess Anastasia's descendants will surely show up any day now, to claim their inheritance. If they can produce the lost diadem from the Russian crown jewels that Anastasia was given, nobody will doubt!"

"Oh, I am so sorry, but I know for certain that that will never happen."

"Excuse, how you know that?"

"Well, it is supposed to be a secret, but I suppose I can tell you. Princess Anastasia came to us, in Rodigan, after the revolution. She was given a new name, a small estate and a place at court. She lived a long and happy life, but never had any children. She is now buried in the Royal Crypt at Rodigan Castle. The diadem is buried with her."

There was a moment of silence. Then Ekaterina Asimova burst out crying uncontrollably and rushed towards the house, her husband in tow.

Wade, Drew and the flower girls stood in a line and watched them run by with various expressions horror and excitement on their respective faces.

"Well, shit!" Wade said, to the girls' naughty delight. Most of the guests on the lawn stared with shock.

"We need a distraction, quick!" Drew said. "Can we get Ed and the band on stage, like, now?"

The jazz band had stopped playing anyway, and were now just sitting on stage looking confused.

"We can go and help them," Stacey suggested, but Wade did not think that would be a good idea. Instead he ran over to the tent behind the stage himself.

"Hey!" he said. "We need you on stage and playing a.s.a.p! We have to distract the guests in some way, quickly!"

Ed, Elena and Joss didn't argue, but started moving their equipment without a word while Wade ran on to fetch the Possible twins and Mr. Barkin. The grand piano and the jazz drum kit were floated off stage, standing on platforms equipped with Load & Lipsky's Medium Duty Lifters. A monster hard rock drum set and a podium of various keyboards were floated on stage to replace them in the same manner. A number of amplifiers and speakers were already standing at the back end of the stage. The Family and Friends band then walked on stage, carrying their guitars and microphones.

"Ed and Elena must have rigged those floating platforms, using our tech!"

"Yes, very smartly done. We should market floating podiums like that to theatres, concert halls and bands. We'll make another fortune!"

Ed stepped up to one of the microphones. "Testing, testing. One, two. One two."

Satisfied, he started the show. "Hi, there!" he said. "How are ya'll doin, seriously? Are you having a good time?"

Wade and Drew groaned.

"We are here to entertain you for a bit before we go in to have dinner. We'll play you a number of rock classics that I'm sure you will all recognise!"

Slim took over the talking from his own microphone. "But before we do that, we'll play ya'll some country and western, since I am sure that there are many here tonight that also like that!"

Wade and Drew glanced towards Patrick MacGoohan and was relieved to see a tentative smile on his face.

"Let's start with sumthin' by the Eagles," Joss announced, and Steve Barkin indicated the tempo by beating his drumsticks against each other.

Ed and Joss played their guitars, and Slim added some typical country licks on the steel-stringed dobro that Elena had lent him. After the intro, Slim started singing.

 _"City girls just seem to find out early_  
 _How to open doors with just a smile._  
 _A rich old man, and she won't have to worry_  
 _She'll dress up all in lace and go in style …"_

Most of the guests seemed to appreciate the song. However, there were a few married couples who seemed to be reminded of rough patches in their relationships by the lyrics. A number of icy stares were exchanged, and at least one hard slap was heard.

For the chorus, the band all chimed in with some harmony singing.

 _" You can't hide your lyin' eyes_  
 _And your smile is a thin disguise_  
 _I thought by now you'd realize_  
 _There ain't no way to hide your lyin eyes."_

"They sound really good," Stacey said, pleasantly surprised by a song with a beat. Not at all like the boring stuff she had had to endure in church.

Wade had different concerns. "Some of the guests seem a bit bothered by the text," he whispered to Drew. "Let's hope their next number is a bit less controversial."

The song finished to general but restrained applause.

"Thank you, thank you, seriously," Ed said. "Well, we know there are some of you gathered here that are especially fond of country. So to celebrate that, we dedicate our next number to Patrick MacGoohan and his lovely family!"

And in an aside to Joss, he whispered "Which song do we do now?"

Joss shrugged, a bit confused since they had taken to the stage without having had the time to decide on the set list.

"Let's do Mac Davis one," Elena said. And they embarked on one of the worst choices they could have made.

 _" Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble  
When you're perfect in every way  
I can't wait to look in the mirror  
Cause I get better lookin' each day …"_

Expressions chased each other across the face of Shelley MacGoohans father, from sunny summer skies to stormy thunderheads. "What the f**k," he exclaimed lout enough to be heard above the music. "Are they f**king mocking me?" Some of the guests seemed to agree with him. Was this a calculated insult?

Wade sank down on the grass and hid his face in his hands. Drew walked quietly away into the woodlands surrounding the property. All their efforts just made everything worse. Only Stacey and Kelley seemed to find it all rather funny.

The band members were mostly lost in their own performance except for Joss Possible who noticed the reactions of Patrick MacGoohan.

"Oh, shit!" she thought. Then she stopped playing and started goofing off to try to save the situation. She held up her guitar with the backside towards her, like it was a mirror, and started preening exaggeratedly. She danced round the stage with the guitar as a partner, kissing it gently on the pick guard. She fought off imaginary admirers with foppish gestures. She illustrated the line about a cowboy outlaw, tough and proud, with an expertly comical mime, and grew humorously embarrassed at the words about filling out her skin-tight blue jeans.

Slim watched her in some bewilderment, suspecting she had gone off her rocker. He continued singing, however, with a more and more noticeable country twang.

The mood of the audience in general and Patrick MacGoohan in particular changed as the song unfolded. Nobody could stay in a bad mood looking at Joss's theatrics. Even Wade noticed the amused laughter and looked up.

"Oh, how I love her!" he whispered after a few moments, understanding what she was doing, and why.

The song finished to enthusiastic applause. After that, the band was on a roll. They switched from country to rock and Slim walked off the stage. They did Gates of Babylon, Thunderstruck and Still got the blues for you. They did Final Countdown and Smoke on the Water. Their encore was Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd. Ed surpassed himself with an awesome guitar solo while a Load & Lipsky supported circular lighting rig descended from above, picking him out in a cone of flashing light.

The applause was long and loud. Joss jumped off the front of the stage and walked over to Wade.

"How're ya doin'?"

"By now, okay. Do you even realise how awesome you are and how much I love you?"

"Probably not."

They went back and sat down on the edge of the stage, looking out over the guests on the lawn.

"Actually, I think we may be alright," Wade said. "Kim and Shelley have wandered off somewhere. The MacGoohans seem happy with the country music. The Merriwethers are talking to Monty Fiske, who seems to behave himself. Captain Francis Blake, O.B.E. and formerly of the MI5, have joined them and seems to be sufficiently English for approval. Duff and Professor Mortimer are speaking Gaelic and tasting the whisky. Señor Senior Calderon and ex-prince Wallace are comforting each other after their run-ins with the Russians, who are now sitting on that bench over there, trying to digest the news about the last of the Romanoffs."

"Ah'm not sure Ah understan' half of all that ya're saying, but if ya're fine with it, then so am I."

Wade kissed her tenderly.

"Now, let's go up to the house. I need to get my notes in order for my duty as toastmaster, and you need to change into your dress again."

They started walking.

"I am beginning to think the party might well be a success, despite all our cock-ups. If someone doesn't drop the wedding cake I can't see much else that can go wrong, with Zita Flores keeping an eagle eye on everything.

But upon entering the house they were met by Mr. Pennyworth, the butler.

"I am sorry, Sir, but I understand you are the toastmaster? There seems to be a guest without an invitation at the door. He insists on speaking to Mrs. Possible MacGoohan. Or at least to one of them."

_o0o_

Well, there you go. Just as I decided to cut the chapter in two because I found writing it hard going, the rest just flowed out.

A bit of drama in this second half.

It seems that Mr. Wayne has offered the services of his butler for the party, which probably means that Bruce himself also is among the guests. Perhaps even accompanied by Ms. Kyle.

There _**are**_ actually a few pieces still missing from the Russian crown jewels owned by the last Tsar. I have of course no idea what really happened do princess Anastasia.

Captain Blake and Professor Mortimer are from the Belgian comics by Edgar P. Jacobs, a co-worker of Hergé. Blake and Mortimer is like a sort of more adult cross between Sherlock Holmes and Tintin. Presumably, Kim and/or Shelley have collaborated with the recently retired captain Blake in his role as an agent of the British MI5, saving the world or at least the United Kingdom.

Writing this, I made heavy use of Google translate to get suggestions for Spanish, Russian and Scottish phrases. If you find any errors, please let me know and I'll try to correct them!

And if you are curious and want to see Pink Floyd (minus Roger Waters) perform Comfortably Numb, check it out on youtube: watch?v=vi7cuAjArRs


	8. Chapter 8

Author's notes: This is a fic that grew out of a plot-bunny were Kim and Shego both had four-year-old daughters, and how conversation and interaction between the adults and the kids might be.

Kim Possible and all the cast of the cartoon are © Disney and are used here for in an entirely non-commercial sense. Stacey and Kelley are my OC's.

_\o0o/_

Chapter Eight – Saturday evening

"I am sorry, Sir, but I understand you are the toastmaster? There seems to be a guest without an invitation at the door. He insists on speaking to Mrs Possible McGoohan. Or at least to one of them."

_\o0o/_

Joss and Wade exchanged a look.

"Did he give a name?"

"Not to me. He just assured me that the newly-weds knew him well and that they would like to see him."

"Can you describe him?" Joss asked.

"A young man, in his early twenties. Average height, short blond hair and a well-groomed beard, of the type they call 'short boxed'. Brown eyes."

"Ron?" Wade asked Joss.

"Is there a peep-hole in the door? So we can see him without him seeing us?"

"No, Miss, but there is a CCTV. Just look at the screen in the small office there."

"Ron," Wade established. "Well, I guess they must meet sooner or later."

"And sooner is probably better," Joss agreed. "Can you go and fetch the ladies? I'll take care of Ron."

"Sure."

"Excuse me," Joss asked the butler, "is there some room were we can have a small private meeting?"

"Of course, Miss. The small study just down the corridor to the right."

Wade went away on his mission to find the newlyweds and Joss opened the door.

"Ron," she said.

Ron turned around and looked at her for a few seconds.

"Joss?" he ventured. "You have … grown."

"So have you. Come on in. Wade is fetchin' Kim and Shelley. It might take awhile; they have probably snuck away somewhere again, smoochin'."

"If you would please follow me," the butler said and led them down a corridor to a snug study with wood panelling and antique furniture. It had a big desk and a lot of bookcases, but also a large couch, a number of voluptuous armchairs, a coffee table and a sideboard with crystal decanters and glasses.

"Please have a seat. I will arrange some refreshments for you." The butler shut the door and left.

Joss studied Ron while they idly walked around the room, investigating. He looked more mature and certainly more toned than when she last saw him, although not muscle bound or bulky. He seemed confident and at ease, not uncertain and childish as he had appeared most of the time in high school. His gaze was direct and unflinching. He was dressed in a grey three-piece suit and it looked good on him. The beard and the haircut made him look quite distinguished.

After a while, Ron sat down one of the armchairs while Joss remained standing.

"So, how is everyone? The doctors P? The tweebs?"

"Oh, Jim and Tim are quite busy. They have skipped some years and have just started college. James and Anne are doing fine. Ah must tell you, though, that they are very close to Kim and Shelley. Just so you know."

Ron nodded thoughtfully. "And Uncle Slim? You?"

"Dad is probably a bit lonely up in Montana now that Ah have moved ta Middleton. But he's been visiting' for several weeks now, and seems happy. And, at the moment, he seems to get on well with Ed and Elena."

"Elena …?"

"Motor Ed and Electronique. They're together now since a coupl'a years."

"So, did they also go straight?"

"Well, mostly. Ah'm not sure all of the hot rods they make are strictly street legal."

"And you? You look a bit … rough? Do you also fight villains and save the world, like KP?"

"Not like Cousin Kim, no."

Ron made a 'go on' gesture.

"Well, firstly, Ah get paid. Ah have my own company. And secondly, Ah don't fight mad scientists or loony super-villains. Ah fight much worse threats."

"Like what? Terrorists?"

"Ah'm not sure you will believe me. The fact is, Ah'm a paranormal private investigator."

"What, like the Ghostbusters?"

Joss gave a scornful huff. "Everybody always asks that. But no, not like those clowns. Ah do serious stuff."

"But you still catch ghosts?"

Joss sighed. "Nah, as I keep sayin', ghosts are mostly harmless. More sad than dangerous. No, Ah step in when clients have worse problems. Vampires, ghouls, demons, werewolves, fae, skin-walkers, chupacabras, trolls, witches, draugrs, hobgoblins, kelpies, succubae, minor Babylonian deities, you name it."

"Ah. Looks to be dangerous work."

"Yeah," she said, tracing the scar running from her right eyebrow down over her cheek, "Ah had a steep learning' curve. My first coupl'a cases were real hard. But now, Ah've earned mahself some respect and Ah know the tricks of the trade."

"It seems more dangerous than what I and KP did. I hope you are careful."

Joss shrugged. "Ah hope _**you**_ are careful," she said with some emphasis. "'Cause if you hurt Cousin Kim, or Shelley for that matter, in any way at all, Ah'll obliterate you!"

"Really, now. You think you have a chance to take on the Mystical Monkey Master?" In a display of childish bravado, Ron made the Lotus blade appear in his right hand with a soft whoosh. Joss was, however, not impressed. She mumbled something under her breath, and made some strange gestures with her fingers, and suddenly a hand-and-a-half broadsword turned up in her grasp. The sword appeared incandescent and suffused with something similar to Shelley's plasma, but icy blue.

Ron laughed humourlessly but let his weapon disappear. "So, you do know some tricks," he said, "but you are still very much out of your depth if you want to fight me."

"Oh, that remains to be seen. Anyway, Ah wouldn't have ta fight ya mahself. Ah could just call in a favour. Ah have friends on the other side."

Ron looked at her again, for a long time.

"Yes," he finally said, "I can believe you do."

There was a knock on the door. Ron and Joss looked up expectantly. However, it wasn't the Possible-McGoohans but Alfred the butler with a large tray, and a waitress with a loaded serving cart. They arranged the drinks and snacks into a small but tempting buffet and left discretely.

One thing that evidently hadn't changed with Ron was his appetite. His eyes gleamed and he gestured at the spread. "Can I … ?"

"Yes, have some."

Ron stacked a plate with some finger food and poured some white wine. Joss made herself a Bourbon on the Rocks, which drew a pointed glance from Ron. She just shrugged in response. Either she was committed to playing the hard-boiled badass, or she really felt that a shot of hard liquor was what she needed for this conversation.

"So, to continue, how about Wade?",

"Oh, he's fine. He's in business with Drew and they make a ton of money. Also, he started exercisin', skipped the junk food and the giant sodas, and came out from hidin' in his room. He is now a tall, strong man, and very happy with his fiancée."

"Wade has a girlfriend?" Ron gave a low whistle. "Anyone I know?"

"Yeah, me."

"Wow! Things do change!"

"Well, if ya leave the country for five years, there's bound ta be developments," Joss said with a bit of force.

"Yeah, like with Kim and Shego, right?" Ron also sounded a bit strained.

Joss sipped her drink. "Ya'll will have ta talk that through in a minute. Ah think Ah hear them comin'."

Ron was surprised because he himself had not noticed anyone approaching, neither by his hearing or by his Mystical Monkey powers, but Joss was right, and soon afterwards there was again a knock on the door.

"Mrs Possible McGoohan and Mrs Possible McGoohan," the butler announced before withdrawing.

Kim and Shelley stepped inside.

"Ron!"

"KP!"

"Buffoon."

"Shego."

Joss cleared her throat. "Let's start politely, now. There's no more 'Shego'. This is Shelley Aibreann Possible McGoohan. Also, there's no 'buffoon'. This is Ronald Dean Stoppable. And that's not KP, that's Kimberly Ann Possible McGoohan. And Ah'm Joss, your friendly neighbourhood slayer and witch-hunter. Who will now leave ya' alone, hoping that ya' might have a civilised conversation." And with that, she left the room.

The three remaining occupants looked uncertainly at each other. After a while, the ladies sat down on the couch across from Ron.

Outside, the sky had darkened with a cover of clouds and the approach of night. The light in the study was beginning to be dominated by all the ornamental antique lamps hanging in brackets or standing on tables and other surfaces. The soft yellowish glow made the room look cosy and calm, but the three sitting around the coffee table were all somewhat tense.

"Yeah, I'm done with being Shego," Shelley continued from what Joss had said before leaving. "She's dead and buried. And, to be honest, you actually don't look like a buffoon anymore. So, Ronald Stoppable, OK?"

"Actually, no. I'm married now, and living in Japan it was easier to take Yore's surname. And also, when I introduced myself as Ronald Dean Stoppable, many of the younger pupils at the Yamanouchi though it was one single given name, and believed I was called Ronadin. So nowadays, I am Ronadin Takahashi, Master of the Mystical Monkey Power, husband of Yori Takahashi and father of Riku Takahashi. Our son is three years old now."

"Alright," Shelley said. "So we're almost three entirely different persons, with different names, meeting for the first time, but still, we have history. Or mostly, you and Kimmie do."

"Yeah, we do, don't we? That's why I'm here. Well, to see if I could congratulate you and participate in the celebration of your wedding, of course, but also to have some things out in the open."

"Well, you missed the actual ceremony in the church, then…"

Ronadin inspected his fingernails, avoiding the gaze of the ladies.

"No, not really. I was there, even if you didn't see me."

"Come now. I'm a pretty observant person. I spotted old Senior immediately when he sneaked in. You were not among the guests. And many of the others would have recognised you. Your parents for instance."

"True." Ron gave Shelley a mischievous smile. "But even a recently built church in fake gothic style has a lot of galleries, odd nooks and crannies. And you do not see a ninja master who does not want to be seen in such a building."

Shelley snorted, but before they started to argue about it, Kim steered the conversation round to other issues.

"We didn't expect you until Monday after next week. Who told you there was a wedding? Did your parents call you?"

Now, Ron looked straight at Kim to add earnestness to his words. "No, they didn't. They don't know I'm here yet, actually. But Sensei has some serious mystical shit going. He can sense things happening with people important to him, and to the school. Which seems to include you two. So he told us we should be here early, and keep a lookout on your house this morning. Which we did. And we saw you leave, followed you to the church, and now I'm here."

Kim seemed a bit affronted. "You were spying on us?"

"Not really. We were just sitting in the little park by the end of your street. We couldn't miss you going past. But until then, we didn't know what was going to happen. If we had, I would have been here earlier. Now I had to go get a change of clothes between the church and here."

Ron reached for another snack, and Shelley took the opportunity to get Kim and herself some drinks. Kim observed Ron for a while, before taking a sip from the glass Shelley had put in her hand, and continuing. "Go on, then," she said. "What do you want to have in the open?"

Ron leaned back in his armchair and started what was probably a well-rehearsed tale.

"Well, let me tell you a bit of what has happened lately. As you know, almost exactly five years ago I went to Japan to study and to train for becoming the Monkey Master and the future head of Yamanouchi. And I can tell you, it was a tough start. Army boot camp would have been nothing in comparison. So I didn't have much time for anything else."

Kim looked a Ron, but Shelley was more intent on watching her wife.

"Time passed. There was exhausting exercise, training in a number of disciplines, study of ancient texts and mystical stuff, and meditation. After about ten months, Sensei invited me to a special meeting, just the two of us. We used to meet in his, well, office, you might call it, but this time he asked me to have dinner with him in his private rooms. He asked me if I was determined to continue my training, and I of course said yes. It was my duty. He then told me that you, Kim, had given birth to a baby girl. He told me I was the father. And asked if I would still continue. "

Ron stopped for a while, letting the information sink in. Kim did not seem surprised. She had of course seen quite a bit of what old Sensei was capable of. Shelley, who might ordinarily have been more sceptic, kept in the background.

"Well, I did. I had a lot of thoughts and emotions, and was probably a bit confused by the news of being a dad, but I put it all to the side. I thought I'd wait until I heard from you, Kim, and then we could discuss what to do. But you didn't call. You didn't write or email. And time passed. … And, Yori was there."

Five years ago, the mention of Yori would have made Kim aggressively jealous. Now she showed no reaction at all.

"So, things happened. I am happy and I think you are happy, too. But – if you had only as much as sent a text message, I would have been there for you, Kim. I hope you understand that. I am not someone that would ignore my responsibility."

There was a long silence.

"Well," Kim said. "I did think about your commitment to the Yamanouchi school, and at first I just didn't want to … distract you. But then, as time went by, I found it hard to write or call to say that I had had a daughter, a few months before. And I started waiting for you to just call or write to tell me how you were, and how you were doing, and we could have gone from there. But, you didn't get in contact. And time passed."

"Oh, my God," Shelley said. "You were both behaving like high school kids with their first crush, waiting for the other to call, and not calling yourselves, in order to not seem too eager."

Both Kim and Ron rejected this reading of the situation adamantly, but after a while, they fell silent.

"Well," Kim said, "There may be a bit of truth in that."

"Maybe."

"And perhaps we could have made it work, if I had just ..."

Ron held up his hand to stop her.

"We could have, but it would not have been the best for all of us. It was a difficult situation. And, I hope you agree, we are all better off now."

"Well …" Kim fidgeted with the some of the small decorations on her dress.

"Kim, I need to tell you this. Yori has given me a lot. And some of it, I don't think you could have provided."

"What!?" Kim looked startled and a bit defensive.

"Let's face it. To you, I was a sidekick. I was useful, I had your back, but I was still a sidekick. And you didn't expect me to grow up and do my own thing. You expected me to continue to assist you. Sometimes, I would save the day, and you were happy; for me, for yourself. But, truth to tell, you really expected me to mostly fail, didn't you? You didn't expect me to grow and go my own way."

Ron was now looking down on his hands resting in his lap. This was obviously a difficult thing to say.

"Yori, on the other hand, is a very loyal team player. She sees it as her honour to do what is best for Yamanouchi, and what is best for everybody. She expects the other team members to do their bit as well, and to train hard to do it even better. So, she hoped that I would embrace my own destiny. To become the Monkey Master. And I think her expectations of success were a big part in ensuring that I did, in fact, succeed. So, apart from everything else, she gave me … confidence. And self-esteem. And, anyway, I love her. And my son. And you love She … Shelley. And your kids."

Kim didn't say anything so it fell to Shelley to respond. "Daughters. Stacey and Kelley. And yeah, we do."

"So, despite all the mistakes, we're good? You are not upset with me?"

Kim still said nothing.

"I don't think she's too upset," Shelley whispered, "but it would be better if you stepped outside for a moment. Talk to Alfred, the butler. Ask him to speak with Zita Flores about getting you a place at the dinner table."

"Could she find three? Yori and Riku are waiting outside, in the car."

"Sure. Now, leave."

Ron shut the door very gently behind him. Shelley moved closer to Kim and wrapped her arm around her.

"Hey, Kimmie? Why so sad? Everybody knows what happened now, and nobody is upset anymore. Aren't you … relieved?"

Kim rested her forehead against Shelley's and shook her head slightly.

"Come now! If you are going to tell me you still would prefer the Bu … Ron … over me, it's going to be a crappy wedding night!"

"Oh, Shelley! It's not that. Don't ever think that. I have the best family possible, now."

Shelley groaned. "I was just waiting for that pun to come along!"

"What? Oh, sorry. I didn't mean that. But …"

"Yes, Bubblebut?"

Kim swatted at Shelley. "But was I really such an asshole? Was I so proud of my strengths and abilities that I was okay with Ron failing? Just bolstering my own ego by having a bumbling sidekick around? Did I want him to fail so that I would look better, myself?"

"Well, if you wanted him to loose his pants all the time, you were kinkier than I thought at the time."

This observation earned Shelley a punch on her shoulder.

"Mind you, you were pretty full of yourself. 'Anything is possible for a Possible', I remember hearing a few times too many. But, I sure made it my job to teach you that you couldn't win every fight".

"Oh, come on! I won most of the time!" A bit of the old fighting spirit found its way back to Kim's expression.

"Except when I escaped, or got away with the loot, or beat you half senseless. And also, I seem to remember many times when you won because Ron, or the hairless rodent, found the self-destruct or tore some cables out of Drakken's latest technology fail."

Kim deflated again. "Yeah, he did, didn't he? Ron and Rufus saved the day all the time."

"Kimmie, listen carefully. Ron did what he could, as well as he could, and often that was exactly what was needed. You, on the other hand, did what _**you**_ could do, which was a heck of a lot more. You always did it as well as you could, and you mostly won. Now, that Ron failed at doing what you could do, like fighting, climbing, jumping from airplanes, stand up to me, that's not important. He did _**his**_ thing. And so what, if you didn't expect him to be your equal in everything? If he did something wrong, you always forgave him, right?"

Kim looked Shelley in the eyes.

"I hope so. I … think so?"

"So, what's the problem? He found his own way, with that oriental mystical stuff, and took up with the people who could help him with it. And he's right – you probably couldn't have helped him with that no matter how hard you tried."

"I s'ppose…"

"And anyway, now you are married to the epitome of awesomeness and competence, so you will soon learn how to be the side-kick!"

Kim whacked Shelley over the head with a soft cushion and a pillow ensued.

_\o0o/_

Outside in the hall, Ron was in discussion with Zita Flores and Alfred, the butler, about table placements. Joss had gone upstairs to change, and Wade was sitting at a small desk, going over all the congratulatory telegrams and messages that had been received, and that he planned on reading to the guests at dinner. There was also a list of quite a few people who wanted to get up and hold a speech.

After a while, Kim and Shelley emerged from the study, looking a bit flushed but otherwise alright.

"So, Ronadin," Shelley asked, "Do you get fed? You can always sit in the kitchen, you know."

"Certainly not, Ma'am," the butler said. We do not want any guests creating a mess in our domain."

"Are you sure? I'm quite a good cook, you know."

"With all due respect, sir, absolutely positive."

"There's certainly no need for that," Zita said. "There's lots of space at the tables."

"Well, good," said Kim. "If you'll excuse me for a bit, I need to go and freshen up."

Zita also disappeared, possibly to redraw the seating arrangements.

That left Ron and Shelley, standing a bit away from both Wade and the butler.

Shego sighed. "Well, former buffoon, I will say two words that I don't think you know too much about – two words: postpartum depression."

"What?"

"Yeah, this is a thing. Sometimes, a mother that has just given birth enters a long and deep depression. This is not just the baby blues, it's much more severe. And when you're afflicted with that, you don't really function. So that was the situation for the first couple of months, really. And when she got out of that, it wasn't so easy to contact you. So you see, there are reasons."

Ron nodded. "Okay, I get that."

"Also, it took some time for us. She had difficulty letting go of the all-American dream of marrying your high-school sweetheart, having a house, children, a dog and a cat, and driving the kids to soccer practice. I think she secretly longed for all that, even though that ship had already sailed. And when we were told you were coming for a visit, the pieces sort of fell into place, and she wanted us, me and her, to get married before you arrived, so as not to burden you with … guilt? Regrets? Or exposing herself to any pity."

"I see."

"And I hope you are really happy with Yori and won't be coming around complicating things. Because I love Kimmie and I will fight for what is mine."

"Yes," Ron said. "Yes, I do."

"Good. Case closed. Shall we go and let your family inside?"

_\o0o/_

Author's note: So, there we are. Just one chapter to go, or perhaps an epilogue. Hopefully, I have with that established a world in which I can place further stories about, Joss, or about Kelley and Stacey, or perhaps Ed, Elena and Slim.

Yours, Feudor.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's note: Last chapter; a long one!

I beg your pudding! So sorry - managed to upload the wrong chapter when fixing some Spelling and grammar issues.

This should be the correct chapter nine!

 **Chapter Nine – Epilogue**

Kelley and Stacey had enjoyed a great afternoon and early evening in the grounds around Lakeside Manor.

When Uncle Ed's band had stopped playing, they decided to explore the little piece of woodland behind the stage area. It turned out to be enchanted. The only way out again was to capture a unicorn and ask it to release you in return for a favour.

The girls spent an exciting time tracking all sorts of small and furry animals, but the only one they could catch was a hedgehog. The hedgehog didn't look particularly magical, but it must have had awesome powers anyway, because when Stacey picked it up, she pricked her finger on its quills and the enchantment over the woodland sort of disappeared in a puff of magic dust.

"Ow!" Stacey said, brought back to earth.

Kelley said that she would be sure to have real unicorns at her own wedding party.

_\o0o/_

Free from the woods, they decided to explore the putting green instead. They could find neither clubs nor balls, but all the flagsticks but one were stuck upright in the holes. However, it turned out they were not flagsticks at all, but lances for knights. Perfect for training, since the top, just above the flag, was a small round knob. There was even a fairly broad path between two of the greens that made a great tiltyard for jousting.

The girls galloped bravely towards each other many times, but in the end, Kelley found that receiving a direct blow to the shoulder was quite painful, even with a practice lance.

Stacey was of the opinion that old-time knights fighting would be essential at _**her** _wedding party.

_\o0o/_

They threw down their weapons and ran down towards the lake to find something less violent to do. It was quite a small lake so they didn't expect a big sea monster like the one in Loch Ness, but even a tiny one would be exciting. Running along the wooden jetties, they peered out over the lake, and also down into the water. They saw three fish; one small and two big ones. Then Aunt Zita came up and told them not to play on the jetties. It was dangerous and they could fall in.

Neither Stacy nor Kelley was afraid of the water; they could, after all, swim. But that was in a pool, and they were a bit unsure about sharing the lake with fish. Who knows what fish did when you weren't looking, like peeing and pooing. They might even bite.

However, they both agreed that sea serpents would go nicely with the unicorns at Kelley's celebration.

_\o0o/_

They strolled up from the shore and found a game of baseball being played on a flat part of the lawn. It was the blond lady with the bat and her two friends. The red-haired one was pitching, the blond one was catching, and the pig-tailed lady with the bat was, of course, batting.

A number of other guests were watching to see if they could join in a proper game, but the way things were going that seemed rather pointless. However fast the redhead threw, the batting-lady hit the ball with a mighty smack. All the balls disappeared so far away that nobody felt like going to fetch them. Two balls ended up in the lake. The pitcher just grabbed a new ball from a bucket by her side.

After five throws, the catcher and the pitcher changed places, but things just got worse. The blonde lady threw so fast and hard that you almost couldn't see it, and the batting lady hit so hard that the ball literally exploded.

Stacey and Kelley applauded. They had never seen anything like it at any baseball game they had watched. The players laughed and the guests that had been watching displayed different shades of awe and surprise.

A thin and tall old man in a brown military uniform, a peaked cap and many medals, offered to teach everyone to play cricket instead, but when he had explained the rules three times, the onlookers gave up and drifted away.

"We gotts'ta have fun and games at weddings," the girls agreed.

_\o0o/_

They decided to head further up from the beach and soon found an area where some guests were sitting around tables, drinking coffee, wine or beer.

One of those guests was their Uncle Henry who was talking with a blond man with a heavy jaw and a red shirt. They booth had a lot of muscles and they were in fact arguing over which one of them was the strongest. After a while, they decided to settle the issue with arm wrestling.

The blond man won the first bout, but Uncle Henry maintained that he hadn't been fully prepared and wanted best out of three. They went at it again.

This time, Uncle Henry turned blue, a bit like Shelley-mum would turn greener when she was really angry. Henry won rather easily.

For the decisive match, their other uncles Melvin, William and Wesley wanted to place bets on Henry as the winner. The other man's wife and kids wanted to put money on their head of family. Shelley-mum's dad, Patrick, accepts the bets.

This time, the match went on for a long time, neither man giving way. Finally, they both gave a great heave and the table they had their elbows on broke. Henry and the blond man, who's name was Bob, cracked their foreheads together. This stunned them, and as they both tried to rise, they fell backwards at full length over the respective neighbouring tables. They broke seventeen wineglasses, twelve beer pints, nine ordinary drinking glasses, eight coffee cups and three tea mugs. Twenty-two plates and three water pitchers Went flying, as did two big trays of small blinis, goat's cheese crackers and meatballs. The samovar toppled over. Neither Stacey nor Kelley would have known it was a samovar if Shelley-mum's mother hadn't shouted it out.

A good fight was exactly what a good party needed, in the girls' opinion.

Since neither of the strongmen had won, Henry's brothers and Bob's family wanted their money back. Patrick, however, stated that anyone could have put a bet on the match being a tie, and would then have won. But since nobody had done that, he was going to keep the money. All the other guests laughed. The waiters and waitresses, who had to do the cleaning up, did not.

_\o0o/_

Stacey and Kelley was just happily skipping away towards the patio outside the big windows of the Lakeside Manor when a horrible noise erupted. It seemed to come from the Duff who was squeezing a checkered cloth balloon with a lot of rods and pipes sticking out of it. The girls clapped there hands over their ears. They may have screamed; just a little.

Aunt Zita emerged from the house and tried to calm them. "It's just the Laird of Kinbirdie announcing that dinner is served by playing a traditional tune on his Highland pipes."

"But must it sound so awful?"

"Yeah, like a squealing pig."

"The Laird plays very well and it is supposed to sound like that," Aunt Zita said. And less loudly, more to herself, she added "And it would have sounded even better if he hadn't had all those whiskeys."

Stacey and Kelley watched the Duff so intently that he grew irritated. He surprised them by removing the pipe he was blowing in from his mouth while still playing, and telling them to "Scram!"

Stacey and Kelley decided unanimously that bagpipes were definitely not needed at any celebration whatsoever.

_\o0o/_

"Guys," Aunt Zita said. "Go in through the house and talk to Alfred, the butler. He will tell you where to go for the dinner."

Since the Duff was still giving them the stink-eye, they readily agreed.

At the front of the house, they found a well dressed elderly gentleman.

"Are you Mr Butler?" Kelley asked.

"Ah, young lady, I am indeed the butler, but my name is Alfred."

"Well, Mr. Alfred, can you tell us where we can get us some dinner?"

"Certainly, Miss. Just go up these stairs and then to the left. There you will see three big double doors that all lead to the dining room. There will be people there to tell you where to sit."

"Thank you kindly, Mr Alfred," Kelley said. Since he had been so polite and kind, Stacey performed what she believed to be a curtsey.

_\o0o/_

They took their leave and bounced up the stairs. They quickly found the three double doors, and the room beyond.

Stacey and Kelley looked around with big eyes. The room was enormous. At the far end, the wall had three large windows. Since the ceiling was high, the windows were both tall and broad. In front of that wall, there was a table on a raised dais, with chairs only on the far side. The walls on the side had two double doors each. Between the doors were two large paintings. They showed people with mostly no clothes on lying about in a landscape with a lot of small, broken houses, eating grapes and stuff.

Along the side walls there were very long tables with chairs on either side. In the middle, there was a smaller, square table with some extra high chairs.

A waiter approached.

"Hello, girls," he said. "You are supposed to sit there at the table in the middle. If you go there and wait, some adults and other kids will be along soon."

In spite of the directions, Stacey and Kelley made a circuit of the room, glancing with interest at the naughty paintings. When they finally walked over to their table, Hana Stoppable, who was almost eight years old, took it upon herself to tell them where to sit. She placed them next to Uncle Felix and his little boy, who was only two years old. There was an empty place for Aunt Zita, but at the moment, she was still running around and fixing things. Uncle Big-Mike, Aunt Jessica and the twins were sitting on the other long side of the table. Hana herself and a small Japanese boy sat at the short end, facing the raised table.

"This is Riku," Hana said. "He's my neffew."

"Hello, Riku," Stacey said.

"Hi!" Kelley added.

Riku said nothing.

"He doesn't speak much English," Hana explained, "but if you want to talk to him, I can translate."

But they didn't talk much more as the guests were now standing at their places while Kimmie-mum and Shelley-mum entered. The mothers sat down and all the guests followed suit. Stacey and Kelley also sat; on chairs that were slightly higher than normal without being baby chairs.

A long line of waiters and waitresses entered with the first course, which was some kind of soup. Uncle Felix read from one of the cards that were lying on all their napkins. "That's an asparagus soup. I you don't like it, I'm sure we can get you something else."

Stacey inspected her bowl a bit suspiciously. It looked like runny porridge to her. Kelley, on the other hand, started eating and had soon finished.

"I didn't like it," she declared. "Can I get another?"

"Hey, that's not the way it works. You only get something else if you don't manage to eat it at all. And you definitely don't get seconds!"

"Besides," Hana added, "there's lots of more food. You shouldn'a eat too much in the beginning!"

This proved to be true. Next, they were brought plates of fish. The fishes were covered in breadcrumbs and Almonds and there was some rice and veggies with them. However, the big folk got whole fishes with heads, fins and all, and the kids all got just pieces.

"Hey," Kelley said, "how come my fish doesn't have a head?"

"That's just to make it easier to eat for you. And, anyway, you don't actually eat the head."

"How come you get it, then?"

"Ah, good question. I don't really know. That's how _truite meuniere_ is usually served."

"Huh!"

The food was all the time being interrupted by people getting up and saying things. Most were boring. Others tried to be funny, but were actually boring anyway. Uncle Wade kept jumping up and down and introducing the talkers, and, when nobody in the room had anything to say, he would read out congratulations from bits of paper.

The next dish was meat inside a sort of pie-crust.

"What's this then?" Kelley asked.

"That's called _Beef Wellington_. It's, you know, meat from a cow."

"Funny. I've never seen a cow with pie-crust on it."

All the grown-ups laughed. Kelley blushed.

"They're just normal cows," Uncle Big-Mike said. "The dough is put on the pieces right before you cook them in the oven."

Then there was cheese, crackers and fruit. The one with green streaks was stinky but the white creamy one was quite okay.

Just before the sweets, the waiters and waitresses went around at distributed wedding favours. The grown-ups could choose between earrings, tiepins or credit card holders, all in silver. The kids got a choice of action figures. The could choose between a set of two big figures of their mums, a set of Shelley-mum and her brothers in Team Go uniforms, and a set with Kimmie-mum, Wade, a blond boy and a rat.

"Wow," Uncle Felix said. "They must have spent a fortune on this!"

The last course for the kids was a big bowl of ice-cream with fruit and chocolate wafers. The grown-ups got what Uncle Felix said was _Eaton Mess_. Stacey and Kelley thought that looked more interesting. Something with 'mess' in the name would be perfect, they thought. They asked if they could have that instead, and got it.

All in all, the flower girls agreed that they had been served a decent meal.

Wade stood up one more time and announced that coffee and refreshments would be served in another room, just across the hall to the right of the staircase. The guests rose and drifted away.

"Come," Hana said to the other kids. "They are going to open their presents."

The coffee room was even bigger than the dining room. It had windows on all three sides, except the one where the entry doors were.

A small stage was placed between two of the double doors. On it, some musicians had gathered. There was one playing an upright piano, one playing a double bass, and one behind a drum-set; a much smaller one than the one Mr Barkin had used. There was also a man with a bright and shiny yellow tooter of some sort, and a lady with a violin.

The girls heard Aunt Joss say that it was the Bruce Daybreak Quintet, which, by her tone of voice, was evidently a big thing.

The music started with a waltz, and only the mums danced to begin with. Stacey found the beat, 1 – 2 – 3, to be a bit silly for dancing and the girls just looked on.

An extra lady then joined to band to sing, and they did a few numbers for people to dance to.

After that, Kimmie and Shelley started opening presents. Some were boring, like kitchen stuff and plates and bowls, glasses and vases.

Others were more useful. There was, for instance, a box full of gadgets and grappling hooks from the Wayne Corporation. A lot of the guests had also joined together with the Lipskys and Elena to give the newly-weds a toy car. Ed stood up and told them that it was only a model, and that the real car was outside in the parking lot and that it was a Morgan +4.

Stacey was a bit upset. She found the car to be much too old-fashioned. It had no roof, and there were only two seats. "Where are we gonna sit?" she asked Kelley.

Then the man in the brown military uniform got up.

"Mrs Kimberly Anne Possible McGoohan. Mrs Shelley Aibreann Possible McGoohan," he announced. "You have both individually and as a team done the United Kingdom and the Commonwealth immense service; in feats so daring and brave that Hollywood could not come close even if they employed all their most heroic actors and their most diligent writers and directors. Nothing compares to you.

"Unfortunately, your actions will never be the theme of a great movie or a thriller book; they are all top secret for various reasons. So, the world will never know.

"However, what the world will know, is the gratitude and recognition of the United Kingdom, and, may I say, the gratitude of the head of state herself, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II."

At this moment, the professor with the read beard joined his friend, Captain Blake (retired), and held out a small jewellery box.

"In recognition of your services, I have been granted the privilege to appoint you as Commanders of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire. However, as these honours are usually announced on the New Year's list, I would ask you to avoid using the post-nominal letters, CBE, until after the official proclamation. In this illustrious company, though, there is no reason not to wear the medals and I will therefore proceed to present you with the documents and accoutrements. If you please, Kimberly Anne Possible McGoohan."

The Captain took the medal from the jewellery box proffered by Professor Mortimer and pinned it just below Kim's left shoulder. He then gave her a big satchel with the Royal Coat of Arms of the United Kingdom on the front before repeating the process with Shelley.

"May I propose a warm hand of applause for the new Commanders!"

Everyone applauded and the brides looked suitably awed and bashful.

The Captain and the Professor had only just taken a step back when Aunt Betty approached.

"Yeah, what he said, more or less. I am here representing the Global Justice Organisation on behalf of all of its member states, and we would also like to honour the two ladies before you. Like Captain Blake, I cannot tell you what they have done, but I can testify as to its value by awarding them the Global Justice Medal of Exceptional Service. Mr Du?"

Uncle Will stepped forward with jewellery boxes similar to the ones Professor Mortimer had held, and Dr. Elizabeth Director pinned new medals to the dresses of Kim and Shelley, beside the ones for the British Empire.

All the guests applauded again.

After that, Señor Senior Calderon stepped forward.

"The United Kingdom and the Commonwealth represent a large number of people, as does the members of the Global Justice. Myself, I only represent the very small domain of _Los Altos Molinas_. However, I would also like to honour my dear friends on this happy day by offering them the titles of _Señoras de la Pequeña Isla_. That is, you would be Ladies of Nobility. The island in question is a small part of my own domain, and I would grant you the noble titles and my lands there, to hold and to enjoy. Mind you, most of the land is leased under long-term contracts to farmers and others, but your own properties will include a very nice town house as well as a country _hacienda_ by the coast and the ruins of a 15th century _Castile_."

Señor Senior made a dramatic pause.

"However, these titles do not come without obligations. They mean that you must have regular meetings with the major of the, well, village, really, and the former _Señoral Gobernador,_ who would then be your chief administrator _._ You will be expected to contribute advice, effort and perhaps even funds. Do you accept such a position?"

Kelley ran up to her grandfather. "Would that mean me and Stacey would be princesses?"

"Well, the titles are hereditary, so I would say so. Mind you, not royal princesses, or high nobility, but smallish princesses."

"Mum, take the job!"

All the guests laughed again.

"Of course, Señor Ricardo," Shelley said, "we would be honoured to accept your gracious offer."

Señor Senior produced a long rapier with a basket hilt. "Then kneel!"

"With the privilege of my station as Lord of _Altos Molinos_ , I dub thee, Kimberley Anne Possible McGoohan (a tap on the right shoulder), as Lady (a tap on the left) of the _Pequeña Isla_ (another tap on the right). The domain is yours to hold and enjoy, as well as to protect and support. Please rise."

Señor Senior repeated the process with Shelley, and then gave them each a scroll with a red band and an official looking seal. He then extended his right hand, expecting Shelley and Kim to kiss it, but both of them instead gave him a hug. The room erupted in applause and hurrays. Stacey and Kelley walked around trying to look like princesses, but mostly coming across as Cinderella's two haughty step-sisters.

After that, there was a few other presentations of gifts (the Duff gave them a copy of an old book from his library, containing a chronicle of the deeds of Robert the Bruce written by one of his ancestors), some dancing, some listening to songs the band and singer performed, and some drinking. Some of the guests got really tired and had to be encouraged to take their arguments outside, or to go lie down somewhere.

Stacey and Kelley also got a bit tired, and sat themselves down at one of the small round tables that dotted the big room.

"I think it was an okay party, given that it was arranged by old people like the mothers," Stacey said.

"Yeah, I guess," Kelley agreed. "More games, unicorns, knights and jousting, and it would'a been all right."

"So, Princess Kelley, whaddya wanna do now?"

"I rather think I need to go to the restroom. I might have eaten a bit too much, and I don't think real princesses are suppose' to hurl on the floor of the ballroom."

"You're appsoluttly right, my dear. You go ahead, Princess, I think I'll just sit here and rest a bit."

_\o0o/_

Kelley left. Stacey was just wondering if princesses could simply curl up on the floor and go to sleep when a blond man with a beard sat down beside her.

"Hello, there," he said. "Are you Stacey Possible McGoohan?"

"Depends who's asking. Are you a strange old man?"

"Well, I'm not so old; the same age as your mother, actually. And I used to say 'never be normal', but that's not so bad, is it? And I'm not a stranger, I used to be your mother's best friend."

"So what's your name, then?"

"My name is Ronadin Takahashi."

"Never heard of you."

"Well, perhaps your mother has said something about Ronald Dean Stoppable? Dean and Jean Stoppable are my parents."

"Oh, you are the sidekick. Ron. Hana's brother."

"The same."

"Well, alright then; I'm Stacey."

"Pleased to meet you. Stacey, I'm your father."

"You?" Stacey gave him an appraising glance. "Well, cool. You're not in jail."

"In jail? Why would I be in jail?"

"It's just that when parents of the pre-K kids are away for a long time, they are usually in jail."

Ron thought this must be a more interesting pre-K than the one he and KP had attended.

"Well, I'm not. I live in Japan, at a martial arts school. I am the Mystical Monkey Master."

"What, like Monkey Fist?"

"Well, a bit like Monty, but much nicer."

"So, you're a Master? Do you think you could beat my mum?"

"Kimmie? Yeah, absolutely. Your other mother, Shelley? Probably. The two of them together? Doubtful. Throw in your Aunt Joss, definitely not."

"Aunt Joss kicks ass."

"Really! Are you allowed to say things like that?"

"No."

Ronadin sighed. What was all this with everyone thinking Cousin Joss was the ultimate badass?

"Well, is it alright with you that I'm your father? Do you think we might be friends?"

"I do' know. Are you a nice person? Or are you an idiot, like Kelley's dad, Junior?"

"I'm certainly smarter than Junior; and nicer than Bonnie Rockwaller."

"Yeah, that wouldn't be difficult. Still, I think Shelley-mum is probably cooler than you. I mean, she's green!"

"Yeah, I'm not green, and I can't throw green fire. But I can turn blue!" And he summoned a bit of Mystical Monkey Power as a demonstration.

"Aw right! Just like Aunt Joss when she makes a sword appear! So, okay! Let's try this daddy thing, then. As long as you don't mess with my mothers."

"I promise! Let's go say hallo to your other grandparents, Mr and Mrs Stoppable."

So, the day turned out very eventful, Stacey thought. Not only did she get a new mother, she also got a father, and a new set of grandparents. She also got a new little brother of sorts – Riku. Perhaps weddings were worth all the fuss after all.

_\o0o/_

Author's note: So, there you have it. Kim and Shelley get married. Their daughters get to be princesses. Stacey meets her father.

Captain Blake and his friend professor Mortimer are from the Belgian classic comics Blake and Mortimer. Presumably, Kim and Shelley have cooperated with them in saving the world a few times. The blond man called Bob is, of course, Mr Incredible. The lady with the bat is Dr Harleen Quinzel, and her friends are Barbara Gordon and Kara Zor-El. Dr Palmela Isley did nothing remarkable in this chapter. Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle are also at the party but got no speaking roles.


	10. Not chapter 10

So sorry - this is not a new chapter; just an appology.

I uploaded chapter 9 correctly at first, but whith a few spelling mistakes.

Fixing that, I managed to upload chapter 7 instead of the edited chapter 9.

This is now corrected - the correct chapter 9 is now on line!

yours, Feudor


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